Perspective

Life is about perspective. Or so we hope. Or maybe, so we are reminded. A number of years ago, I stood in front of my mirror, trying to lump my hair into something that didn’t resemble a villainous Star Trek character.  To no avail.  The strands refused to cooperate, as did the rest of my appearance.  A frumpy outfit hugging a poochy belly.. green tinged skin glowering under fluorescent lights.  Bloodshot eyes pegged into a puffy face.  And a nice hint of a double-chin laughing at me from its less than obvious hiding place.  I hated what I saw and was angry at all the maladies I felt had been unfairly heaped upon me.  Why, oh why, I bemoaned, must I look like a freak show in a fun-house mirror?  It wasn’t fair.  Others didn’t have to go through this.  Why did I?  As I scrubbed my teeth, I silently grumbled about the days when my hair cooperated, my clothes fit and my face wasn’t a replica of the Grinch.  I turned off the water, placed the brush on the counter and was about to shuffle from the bathroom when something caught my eye.  A droplet of blood on the white tile.  As I stood there, puzzled by where it came from, another splashed on the cold surface.  Then another.  And another.  And then, before I knew it, blood poured down my legs.  Big, gloppy clumps, churning as if someone forgot to turn off some unseen spigot.  And at that moment, everything ceased to exist.  My hair, my clothes, my skin.  I hugged my belly with one hand, while with the other tried to catch the blood.  As if somehow that was going to halt time.  But of course, it was too late.  The little being that had caused me all that silly angst was lying in a useless heap on the cold bathroom tile.  A girl, as I would later find out.

She, is what it took to gain perspective. I wish I could say I always carry perspective with me.  But I don’t.  I get frustrated and annoyed and irritated at the little things in life.  And make more of a big deal than is relevant or necessary.  But then, there are times, when I get a hefty slap of perspective upside my pointy little head.  For example, last week, I was riding the subway, minding my own business, when a woman stepped on my foot with her stiletto heel.  Ouch, didn’t describe the pain.  But like any self-respecting masochist, I refused to go see the doctor.  Ignore it and it will go away; the Russian Field of Dreams.  But under threat of ice cream cut-off from my hubby, off to the doctor I went.  Fractured, of course.  A wrap and a hideous half boot I must now wear; the latest in glam ortho gear.  I grumbled and bellyached about the atrocity I had to lug around.  How hideous I would look. How uncomfortable.  All the way home, I kept my head lowered, convinced everyone was looking at me and my hobbled hoof.  As I sat at my computer that night, I still groused about my stupid foot, the stupid woman, the stupid subway.  Until I got an email about a dear friend.  A terrible tragedy.

I don’t know why it takes a tragedy for me to gain perspective.  To stop focusing on silly things, like an ugly shoe on a foot that will soon heal.

I know I can’t right the wrongs, stop the wars, heal the sick, but at least I can focus on the important things and bring a positive perspective.

Time Suck of Scheduling

I just spent a good two hours trying to get my conference app up and running for RWA 2014. This was a colossal waste of my time and energy. All it managed to do was make me swear at my computer and threaten to throw it off my deck.

For the last five years I’ve made up my schedule for the conference in a regular document. Each year, I “Save As” that year’s location and start replacing. It seemed to work for me.

I try to add some humor into them as well. “Mingle at a bar” or “Find a buttertart” (that’s for you, Holly). At one conference, I put “Have Sex with Husband” right after my return flight landed. Well, said husband took advantage of my conference time to throw stuff away at home. My youngest called in tears that he had thrown away her American Girl dolls. Another was crying that he was making them get rid of half of the contents of their rooms. I’m a pack rat by nature. This was the worst thing that could happen. My heart was pounding. I could feel my blood pressure going through the roof, and I usually have blood pressure so low I’m practically a corpse. So, I immediately pulled out my schedule and drew a very thick line through that particular event.

On my Golden Heart® loop, the discussion about the conference app made me believe it’s necessary to my life. Now that I’ve tried to make the thing work for me—downloading onto my phone, opening on the web page and trying to make sense of HOW to insert all my wonderful workshops—I tend to disagree.

I’m not sure when conferences became so confusing and why we have to make them even more stressful by adding unnecessary things into the mix.  Why do we have to tweet in order to meet up? Why do we have to hashtag stuff? Why, oh, why are people making this conference so stressful? First of all, half the strangers you’re arranging to meet for multiple dinners and drinks will undoubtedly get on your nerves after the first scheduled event. Or you’ll get on theirs. Now you’re both stuck. Be flexible. Don’t schedule yourself so completely that you don’t have downtime. That downtime is essential. Take a breather. Go to your room and paint your toenails if things become too much on the main floor.

Here’s the thing. Every year I make up a schedule. Every year I look at that printed personal schedule after the conference ended, and—without fail—I didn’t follow it at all. At all! With the conference set up the way it is, people get up and leave one workshop to go to another. To be perfectly honest, I’ll ditch a workshop for anyone who wants to grab a drink. Sometimes you make a new friend, and that friend wants to go to a workshop about costumes of the Regency period, and you write contemporary YA, but you go anyway. Why? Because you don’t want to lose your shiny new friend. What if she manages to find a better one in that workshop? It’s like high school all over again. ☺

I have some key workshops in my Word document and some events that can’t be skipped in my schedule, but for the most part I’m flexible. I’m free as a bird. So, if you catch this bird looking conflicted between two workshops—one on her schedule and one completely out of her genre or interests—please offer a third option.

“Wanna grab a drink?”

GH 2014 photo

Mermaids & Friends: Deborah Harkness

Hello, all — Alethea Mermaid again here, in the lagoon with an author celebrating the release of her new book tomorrow: Deborah Harkness!

We’re all very excited about THE BOOK OF LIFE, the highly-anticipated final installment of her bestselling All Souls Trilogy.

Deborah joins us in the lagoon today to answer some questions about writing, and her new book. Take it away, Deborah!

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In your day job, you are a professor of history and science at the University of Southern California and have focused on alchemy in your research. What aspects of this intersection between science and magic do you hope readers will pick up on while reading THE BOOK OF LIFE? There’s quite a bit more lab work in this book!

There is. Welcome back to the present! What I hope readers come to appreciate is that science—past or present—is nothing more than a method for asking and answering questions about the world and our place in it. Once, some of those questions were answered alchemically. Today, they might be answered biochemically and genetically. In the future? Who knows. But Matthew is right in suggesting that there are really remarkably few scientific questions and we have been posing them for a very long time. Two of them are: who am I? why am I here?

Much of the conflict in the book seems to mirror issues of race and sexuality in our society, and there seems to be a definite moral conclusion to THE BOOK OF LIFE. Could you discuss this? Do you find that a strength of fantasy novels is their ability to not only to allow readers to escape, but to also challenge them to fact important moral issues?

Human beings like to sort and categorize. We have done this since the beginnings of recorded history, and probably well back beyond that point. One of the most common ways to do that is to group things that are “alike” and things that are “different.” Often, we fear what is not like us. Many of the world’s ills have stemmed from someone (or a group of someones) deciding what is different is also dangerous. Witches, women, people of color, people of different faiths, people of different sexual orientations—all have been targets of this process of singling others out and labeling them different and therefore undesirable. Like my interest in exploring what a family is, the issue of difference and respect for difference (rather than fear) informed every page of the All Souls Trilogy. And yes, I do think that dealing with fantastic creatures like daemons, vampires, and witches rather than confronting issues of race or sexuality directly can enable readers to think through these issues in a useful way and perhaps come to different conclusions about members of their own families and communities. As I often say when people ask me why supernatural creatures are so popular these days: witches and vampires are monsters to think with.

From the moment Matthew and a pregnant Diana arrive back at Sept-Tours and reinstate themselves back into a sprawling family of witches and vampires, it becomes clear that the meaning of family will be an important idea for THE BOOK OF LIFE. How does this unify the whole series? Did you draw on your own life?

Since time immemorial the family has been an important way for people to organize themselves in the world. In the past, the “traditional” family was a sprawling and blended unit that embraced immediate relatives, in-laws and their immediate families, servants, orphaned children, the children your partner might bring into a family from a previous relationship, and other dependents. Marriage was an equally flexible and elastic concept in many places and times. Given how old my vampires are, and the fact that witches are the keepers of tradition, I wanted to explore from the very first page of the series the truly traditional basis of family: unqualified love and mutual responsibility. That is certainly the meaning of family that my parents taught me.

While there are entire genres devoted to stories of witches, vampires, and ghosts, the idea of a weaver – a witch who weaves original spells – feels very unique to THE BOOK OF LIFE. What resources helped you gain inspiration for Diana’s uniqueness?

Believe it or not, my inspiration for weaving came from a branch of mathematics called topology. I became intrigued by mathematical theories of mutability to go along with my alchemical theories of mutability and change. Topology is a mathematical study of shapes and spaces that theorizes how far something can be stretched or twisted without breaking. You could say it’s a mathematical theory of connectivity and continuity (two familiar themes to any reader of the All Souls Trilogy). I wondered if I could come up with a theory of magic that could be comfortably contained within mathematics, one in which magic could be seen to shape and twist reality without breaking it. I used fabric as a metaphor for this worldview with threads and colors shaping human perceptions. Weavers became the witches who were talented at seeing and manipulating the underlying fabric. In topology, mathematicians study knots—unbreakable knots with their ends fused together that can be twisted and shaped. Soon the mathematics and mechanics of Diana’s magic came into focus.

A Discovery of Witches debuted at # 2 on the New York Times bestseller list and Shadow of Night debuted at #1. What has been your reaction to the outpouring of love for the All Souls Trilogy? Was it surprising how taken fans were with Diana and Matthew’s story?

It has been amazing—and a bit overwhelming. I was surprised by how quickly readers embraced two central characters who have a considerable number of quirks and challenge our typical notion of what a heroine or hero should be. And I continue to be amazed whenever a new reader pops up, whether one in the US or somewhere like Finland or Japan—to tell me how much they enjoyed being caught up in the world of the Bishops and de Clemonts. Sometimes when I meet readers they ask me how their friends are doing—meaning Diana, or Matthew, or Miriam. That’s an extraordinary experience for a writer.

Diana and Matthew, once again, move around to quite a number of locations in THE BOOK OF LIFE, including New Haven, New Orleans, and a few of our favorite old haunts like Oxford, Madison, and Sept-Tours. What inspired you to place your characters in these locations? Have you visited them yourself?

As a writer, I really need to experience the places I write about in my books. I want to know what it smells like, how the air feels when it changes direction, the way the sunlight strikes the windowsill in the morning, the sound of birds and insects. Not every writer may require this, but I do. So I spent time not only in New Haven but undertaking research at the Beinecke Library so that I could understand the rhythms of Diana’s day there. I visited New Orleans several times to imagine my vampires into them. All of the locations I pick are steeped in history and stories about past inhabitants—perfect fuel for any writer’s creative fire.

Did you know back when you wrote A Discovery of Witches how the story would conclude in THE BOOK OF LIFE? Did the direction change once you began the writing process?

I knew how the trilogy would end, but I didn’t know exactly how we would get there. The story was well thought out through the beginning of what became The Book of Life, but the chunk between that beginning and the ending (which is as I envisioned it) did change. In part that was because what I had sketched out was too ambitious and complicated—the perils of being not only a first-time trilogy writer but also a first time author. It was very important to me that I resolve and tie up all the threads already in the story so readers had a satisfying conclusion. Early in the writing of The Book of Life it became clear that this wasn’t going to give me much time to introduce new characters or plot twists. I now understand why so many trilogies have four, five, six—or more—books in them. Finishing the trilogy as a trilogy required a lot of determination and a very thick pair of blinders as I left behind characters and story lines that would take me too far from the central story of Diana, Matthew, and the Book of Life.

A Discovery of Witches begins with Diana Bishop stumbling across a lost, enchanted manuscript called Ashmole 782 in Oxford’s Bodleian Library, and the secrets contained in the manuscript are at long last revealed in THE BOOK OF LIFE. You had a similar experience while you were completing your dissertation. What was the story behind your discovery? And how did it inspire the creation of these novels?

I did discover a manuscript—not an enchanted one, alas—in the Bodleian Library. It was a manuscript owned by Queen Elizabeth’s astrologer, the mathematician and alchemist John Dee. In the 1570s and 1580s he became interested in using a crystal ball to talk to angels. The angels gave him all kinds of instructions on how to manage his life at home, his work—they even told him to pack up his family and belongings and go to far-away Poland and Prague. In the conversations, Dee asked the angels about a mysterious book in his library called “the Book of Soyga” or “Aldaraia.” No one had ever been able to find it, even though many of Dee’s other books survive in libraries throughout the world. In the summer of 1994 I was spending time in Oxford between finishing my doctorate and starting my first job. It was a wonderfully creative time, since I had no deadlines to worry about and my dissertation on Dee’s angel conversations was complete. As with most discoveries, this discovery of a “lost” manuscript was entirely accidental. I was looking for something else in the Bodleian’s catalogue and in the upper corner of the page was a reference to a book called “Aldaraia.” I knew it couldn’t be Dee’s book, but I called it up anyway. And it turned out it WAS the book (or at least a copy of it). With the help of the Bodleian’s Keeper of Rare Books, I located another copy in the British Library.

Are there other lost books like this in the world?

Absolutely! Entire books have been written about famous lost volumes—including works by Plato, Aristotle, and Shakespeare to name just a few. Libraries are full of such treasures, some of them unrecognized and others simply misfiled or mislabeled. And we find lost books outside of libraries, too. In January 2006, a completely unknown manuscript belonging to one of the 17th century’s most prominent scientists, Robert Hooke, was discovered when someone was having the contents of their house valued for auction. The manuscript included minutes of early Royal Society meetings that we presumed were lost forever.

Shadow of Night and A Discovery of Witches have often been compared to young adult fantasy like Twilight, with the caveat that this series is for adults interested in history, science, and academics. Unlike Bella and Edward, Matthew and Diana are card-carrying members of academia who meet in the library of one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Are these characters based on something you found missing in the fantasy genre?

There are a lot of adults reading young adult books, and for good reason. Authors who specialize in the young adult market are writing original, compelling stories that can make even the most cynical grownups believe in magic. In writing A Discovery of Witches, I wanted to give adult readers a world no less magical, no less surprising and delightful, but one that included grown-up concerns and activities. These are not your children’s vampires and witches.

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Deborah Harkness is the number one New York Times bestselling author of A Discovery of Witches and Shadow of Night. A history professor at the University of Southern California, Harkness has received Fulbright, Guggenheim, and National Humanities Center fellowships. Her publications include works on the history of science, magic, and alchemy.  Her most recent scholarly book is The Jewel House: Elizabethan London and the Scientific Revolution.  She lives in Los Angeles.

Mermaids & Friends: Corinna Smith

Corinna Smith & Adam Ezra

Corinna Smith & Adam Ezra

I have a huge girl crush on Corinna Smith. She’s incredibly talented, kind, a great teacher, and loves kids…and she’s gorgeous to boot! I admire this woman down to my toes–er–fins. Really…she’s just magic. (She’s even a mermaid. I swear!) And her birthday was July 5th — happy belated birthday, Corinna!

Corinna had her violin stolen shortly after she joined up with the Adam Ezra group, who launched a successful Indiegogo campaign to raise the funds to buy her another one. She plays like a dream and is a phenomenon on stage…you just have to see her to believe it.

So hie thee to an Adam Ezra Group concert if they happen to be playing in our area. In the meantime, feel free to friend Corinna on Facebook…and check out her awesome interview, right here, right now!

[Edited to say: I think I always knew making music was like writing…but I wasn’t quite sure JUST how much until I read Corinna’s answers here. See? Magic.–AK]

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Little Corinna...

Little Corinna…

When did music first inspire you?
Music was always part of my life- my mom used to sing me lullabies, and I grew up listening to my dad play his guitar every evening as a way to relax. I got a toy piano for my 3rd birthday and used to “compose” songs for my stuffed animals, and began real piano lessons a few years later. But the first time I remember realizing I HAVE to play music was at an Alison Krauss and Union Station concert when I was 13. Her voice and her fiddle playing were so sweet but so powerful, and I wanted to be just like her.

How many instruments do you play?
That’s a tricky question- I studied music education in college, which means that technically I can play any instrument that’s found in schools… but I’m pretty sure nobody would be happy to hear me squawk away on the bassoon or pass out trying to play a note on the tuba!
Instruments I can actually play some songs on would be violin, viola, piano, guitar, mandolin, and banjo… and I sing a little, too.

What’s the most frustrating thing (for you) about your job being something you love?
I feel pretty lucky that I get to do the thing I love most in the world every single day, but because I am so passionate about it, I can also be very self-critical. Some days we’ll play a set where the humidity makes my violin lose tuning, or there are issues with our sound and I can’t hear my voice while singing, or I just space out for a second and make a really obvious mistake… there’s a little voice in my head that will say “see? you’re not good enough! you can’t do this!!” in those moments and I have to be careful not to let it take over my thoughts.

Conversely, what’s the most rewarding thing about your music?
There’s a moment in every live performance where I can feel everyone in the room connecting to the same energy. It’s my favorite thing about playing music for people, and the only way I can describe it is to say it’s magic. This can happen no matter where we are, how many people we’re playing for, how tired/hungry/cranky I might have been before the moment… It’s as if the entire outside world melts away and it’s just us being bathed in music. It’s such a crazy honor to get to help create that experience, and it still mystifies me every time it happens.

Tell us a little bit about writing your own music. Like…what comes first, the music or the lyrics?
For a long time, I wanted to write songs but was so paralyzed by that little “you’re not good enough” voice that I didn’t write at all. In the last few years, I’ve decided that for me, songwriting is not about writing something good or creating songs with any intention of sharing them… it’s just a personal form of expression, like keeping a journal. Once I made that distinction, I was able to let go and write, but I don’t really have a process… Sometimes it’s a phrase that sticks in my head, sometimes it’s a little fragment of melody, and sometimes it’s a chord progression I’ve heard elsewhere that I decide to steal for myself! The most important thing for me has been to withhold all judgment, be ok with writing “bad” songs, and use the whole process as a cathartic way to release whatever I’m feeling at the time.

You play primarily with the Adam Ezra Group — how do you collaborate with Adam and the rest of the group?
I’ve been with the Adam Ezra Group for about a year and a half, and although the songs start in Adam’s head, he is a really generous and collaborative artist, so everyone in the band has lots of room to contribute ideas when we’re working out a song. When Adam brings a new song to the band, we usually spend some time talking about it, listening to demo recordings he’ll make, and then devote a few rehearsals to experiment with it together. Sometimes we’ll do this with older songs of his too, which can give them a new life. My role as a fiddler/violinist is primarily to provide texture, and I’m often one of the last to create my parts because it allows me to find spaces within all the other layers of the song.

Corinna and Brandon

Corinna and her brother Brandon

How much are you on the road? What do you miss the most when you’re away from home?
We’re constantly on tour these days–over 200 shows a year, plus travel days to get to those shows–so our big messy van has kind of become my home at this point! I don’t really miss a particular place, but I do miss people. Most of my family is in Michigan and I don’t get to see them often… and my brother has an awesome band of his own called the Appleseed Collective… they tour all the time too, and it’s particularly hard to be away from him – he and I have been best friends our whole lives. We send handwritten letters to each other from the road, and we’re constantly scheming ways to get our two bands together (hint: it’s about to happen later this summer!!)

When you are on stage, you seem so lost in the music…and yet you still manage to engage not only the audience, but also each member of the band on stage (your enthusiasm is so contagious!). What I want to know is: What goes through your mind when you’re up there? How do you keep from losing the crowd, or the flow of the song?
That’s the magic feeling I mentioned! It’s such an amazing experience for me. I’m not sure there’s anything describable actually going through my mind… what I feel at those times are love, gratitude, and incredibly intense joy.

I’ve seen photos and articles about some of the teaching that you’ve done — can you tell us a little bit about that and why you do it?
Teaching is my other great love besides playing. I was so lucky growing up to have amazing teachers myself- my piano teacher, Carol Franklin, and my orchestra director, Bob Phillips, were two of the most influential people in my life. From the very first day, they each supported not only my budding musical skills, but encouraged me and made me believe that I had valid and important creative ideas–even as a beginning music student who could barely play her instruments. I think it’s vital that adults take children’s creative work seriously and see it as an expression that is just as honest and meaningful as a professional artist’s expression, even if the execution isn’t skilled yet. I’ve taught all ages from 2 1/2 years old to retired adults, spent some time teaching music in Singapore as well as lots of places in the U.S., worked with classes as big as 200, first-day beginning students, and even spent a few hours consulting with one of my classical music heroes who was a legendary performer but had never improvised… every single person I’ve ever taught or played music with has had beautiful, creative ideas. It fills me up and inspires me to be a part of that. Fortunately, teaching is a passion for Adam and the rest of my bandmates as well, and our nonprofit organization RallySound includes educational outreach in its mission, so I still get some opportunities to teach even while touring!!

Professor Corinna, hard at work!

Professor Corinna, hard at work!

Oh my gosh…I could ask you so many more things…but this one I ask everyone: If you could have any superpower (or be any superhero) what/who would it be and why?
I sometimes have dreams where I’m not myself (I might be a child, or an animal… once, I dreamt I was the ocean!) and those are always fascinating to me. I think if I could have a superpower I would love to be able to experience life as other living things do. How cool would it be to become an elderly woman for a day, or an octopus, or a tree? And to be serious for just a moment, if such a superpower existed, and there was a way to make people live for a day in each other’s worlds, it might prevent a lot of the senseless violence caused by humans’ inability (or unwillingness) to see other perspectives…

What projects are you working on that fans can look forward to?
Right now my main project is playing shows every day with the Adam Ezra Group and being a part of the team, which takes a lot of behind-the-scenes work but is completely worth it. An event that AEG is hosting which I’m particularly excited about is our annual Ramble, which will be August 23 on Salisbury Beach in Massachusetts. It’s a festival put on by our nonprofit RallySound to support a really important cause, all while hanging out on a gorgeous beach all day sharing great music. Last year we raised enough funds to house 15 homeless veterans in New England, and this year we’ve partnered with some amazing, independently-owned farms to provide CSA shares of fresh, healthy produce to our veteran families on a weekly basis for a year! I’m also personally excited because my brother’s band is coming out to play at the Ramble, and my whole family is road-tripping to share the weekend with us… And of course, as a mermaid, I never turn down an opportunity to spend time at the beach! 🙂

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Give Me a Break!

It’s Month 7 of The Sparkle Plan, my made-up diet and wellness plan. Can you believe it! Check out the inaugural post here to find out what it is.

Last month, I set a new mini-goal of getting more sleep. For the most part, I did it. The results? I felt amazing! Then came this past weekend…. (Insert ominous music)

This past Friday was July Fourth. Besides being my favorite holiday, it was also a long weekend, and an early birthday celebration for yours truly. Lots and lots of fun events occurred. There was pool time, fireworks, BBQs, happy hours, baseball games, and little time for sleep or exercise.  Kerri Carpenter

Even while I was having SO MUCH FUN, in the back of my mind, an annoying little voice was nagging me to death about exercise and sleep and the fact that I wasn’t doing enough of either. Plus, said obnoxious voice was reminding me that I was about to go on vacation for a week and then go to a big writer’s conference where I will surely also not get enough sleep or physical activity.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

My BFF has told me for years that I’m too hard on myself. I never really paid much attention. But when a new friend also starting saying the same thing to me, I thought maybe they’re on to something.

This Sparkle Plan journey has been tough. I’m trying to do a lot – workout, eat right, get enough sleep, all while still enjoying everything else in life. But I’m constantly worrying about my circumference and fear that it’s growing. I’m worried about getting injured again. I’m worried about not achieving the goals I set back in January. Worry. Worry. Worry!!!!

So perhaps it’s time to admit that I am hard on myself. What’s the point of doing all this work if I’m not going to enjoy myself? And really, who wants to be hard on themselves on vacation? I can still enjoy the beach and my conference without eating like a piggy. Right?

Mini-Goal of the Month: Enjoy myself!

Let’s chat in the comment section. How do you find that balance between healthy living and having fun?

 

*I am not a doctor. We should all consider this a blessing since I really don’t care for sick people. Or whiny people. Or that hospital smell. Or science. Hence, always consult your own physician before embarking on any fitness or eating plan.

Online Shopping: Convenience or a Disease That Must Be Cured!

I shop online. And the Internet knows. It follows me to every site I visit. Facebook. USA Today. The Astrology page. The little box in the corner with my latest purchase haunts me. Reminds me. Yes, I did spend that money. Yes. I did buy that dress. Or even worse – No. No. No. You forgot to buy it! And here’s your chance to correct your mistake. Shop. Shop. Shop…

And don’t tell me to turn off the Internet. Don’t tell me not to visit all the places I love to visit. And don’t tell me to stop shopping (Bank of America has already got dibs on that, thank you very much). What is it about online shopping that makes it so – dang easy to spend money!

I was do some research for one of my WIPs, and learned about the DARK NET. It’s a place hackers go to hang out and create mayhem. Shouldn’t online shopping be considered some sort of black hole that eats money?

But worst than shopping online – I GO TO THE FREAKING MALL, too!

And OMG, two weeks before RWA Nationals? Have you started packing? Did you buy the new shoes? That great jewelry? What?

No, I know, I should be revising, and writing, and doing what aspiring authors do – searching for a dress to wear to the awards ceremony on July 26. That’s what! Right? 

Okay, I just took a deep breath. I’m almost done ranting, so I can get to the good part:)…would you like to see some of the things I didn’t buy? And no, this is not an add for Nordstorm’s, it’s just the store where I window shop…and okay, shop, occasionally.

Now confess! What’s your online bad habit (or good habit) – it’s all a matter of perspective . Darn! I just bought something while writing this post!…and I shop to relax, by the way…not all the time…and I can control it…(sounding more out of control with every word I type..:)…

 



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Magical Summer Memories

Apple PieIt’s summertime again, and as always it’s passing too fast. Although schools out and we don’t have rehearsals and practices to rush to every evening, there is still that cursed day job and at least a thousand other things demanding my immediate attention. It makes me long for the simpler times and a slower pace of life.

Growing up, I loved visiting my grandparents house in the summer. They lived in a very rural area dominated by rolling mountains and lush green valleys. It is still litterally fifty miles to the closest fast food restaurant or Walmart. The cell phone reception is crappy and they are probably still using a dial up internet connection, but you know what? For me, my grandparents house represents one of the happiest places on earth.

My favorite part of the summer was when all of the aunts, uncles and cousins came for Fourth of July. After a day full of fun playing in the hayloft or swimming in the river you returned to the smell of grilling hamburgers, hot dogs and ribs. Tables piled high with deviled eggs, cole slaw, potato salad, pies and cakes. I fondly remember the lazy summer evenings where the adults gathered on the porch to talk and sip sweet tea or some other more adult beverage, while the kids played hide-and-go-seek and chased fireflys into the melting twilight. The sharp smell of freshly mowed lawn clung to the air as everybody ate watermelon, spitting seeds into the grass.

thCAG7TAUSAs the night grew dark the kids became more and more restless, begging for fireworks. There was nothing better than standing on the edge of my grandparents back field in awe as another rocket whizzed into the air, the explosive boom vibrating through my body. The colors showering down from the heavens set a magical backdrop to the Fourth of July.

Those are some of my favorite memories. I would love to hear some of your favorite summer memories in the comments.

Things Jamie Oliver Says

I firmly believe that by sharing what a giant goofball I am, people out there who are also giant goofballs will feel a little better about, you guessed it, their giant goofballismness.

photo credit a href=httpwww.flickr.comphotosscandic-hotels4327863806Scandic Hotelsa via a href=httpphotopin.comphotopina a href=httpcreativecommons.orglicensesby-nc2.0cca

When I wrote an English character named Oliver and needed to know what he sounded like, I went to the very best source I could think of and that my friends was Jamie Oliver. Who is cuter than he? Basically I sat and watched tons of Jamie’s shows (and he’s got some goodies–like the ones where he’s running around random New York neighborhoods at night finding restaurants people run out of their homes without permits but really good food) with my notebook and my remote. I’d pause and jot, pause and jot. And this is the list I came up with for my Englishman’s voice and speech. Some of this will make absolutely no sense unless you do as I did and stalk the man on the TV but even then, it’s pretty entertaining. I give you The Jamie Oliver Experience:

I got half-pissed off a jam jar (drunk)

Anti (an-tee) restaurant

Conception of children

Anti-restaurants have got you hitched

I was a bit cynical but I totally totally get it

See ya guys, take care

Seriously good food

More vibrant, a bit cruder

I’m a chili freak so this Szechuan is right up my trouser

This is a serious serious foody’s noodle dish, beautiful

Do you think your mom would let me have a go at doing the noodles?

Let me have a go, darling (dah-ling)

I’m too strong, I just busted it

I’m getting too cocky

Brilliant beautiful people

New York’s helped me sort of feel differently about immigration

There’s not many people like George about

35 Double Dee, she’s definitely coming

Get some liquor in and have a little bit of a laugh

Good, got a party, just need some food

Sea Bass, slightly awkward fish to filet (fill-it)

The whole thing about ceviche (she-vishey) is…

Not it’s time for the hard part, sprucing meself up

It’s the stories of the people that were really really interesting

If you can get booze into someone’s hands within 30 seconds of them entering the door then you’re a good host

Linda, hello darling.  Come in, how are you?

Excuse me, darling

Here you go, sweetheart

I’m really glad that I came to New York because many many people know New York

Really really good trip, it’s a crazy crazy city

 

Mermaid CarleneI hope you totally, totally enjoyed my rather random post today.

Ceviche kisses,

(Jamie’s Englishman pronunciation = she-vishey/ Carlene’s San Diego Native = say-vee-chay)

Carlene Mermaid

Jamie Oliver photo credit a href=httpwww.flickr.comphotosscandic-hotels4327863806Scandic Hotelsa via a href=httpphotopin.comphotopina a href=httpcreativecommons.orglicensesby-nc2.0cca

 

 

 

 

 

Lazy Mermaid…Lazy Writing

Alethea MermaidSo…I have this HUGE issue with lazy writing.

It is so annoying to me when an author works to set up a convoluted setting or plot line at the beginning of his or her story, and then instead of following the thread logically through to the end, makes up something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and solves the problem with that instead.

Anton Chekhov said: “If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”

His comment was more about including extraneous information. From my perspective, it should also apply the other way around…if you include the gun. USE THE GUN. Don’t have the murder victim hanged in the end for no good reason.

There’s a book that’s a PERFECT example of this that I use to illustrate such lazy writing when I’m at conferences. I won’t name names here…but suffice it to say, it was a romance about a shapeshifter in love with a rich mogul. The shapshifter is invited to her new boyfriend’s private island, where his maid has picked out a swimsuit for our heroine, sight unseen. The suit is a size six and fits like a glove.

I threw the book across the room and never picked it up again. (Except to donate it to Goodwill.)

It stretches believability enough that a woman could pick out a bathing suit for another woman…I have enough trouble picking out my OWN swimsuits, thank you very much. But the author (and her editor) missed a FABULOUS opportunity: If your main character is a shapeshifter, it would be a much more fun (and sympathetic) scene if the bathing suit was horrible…and the woman shifted herself so that it fit perfectly.

If that had happened, I would have loved this author forever! Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

In my course of doing the Fairy Tale Rant series on YouTube, I’ve begin to realize that some of these “lazy storytelling” problems have been with us since the time of fairy tales.

Below is one such example of lazy writing…or at least, I think so. I have a friend who disagrees. What do you think? How would YOU have ended this one?

(PS: The reason I titled this post “lazy mermaid” is because I MEANT to do a mermaid movie review, but I didn’t write it up last night like I was supposed to. So expect that to drop in some other time this month…xox Alethea)

Book or TV Boyfriend: How Far Would You Go?

As authors and/or readers of romance, we are passionate about the characters. We love our heroines, but the hero–well, we can get obsessed. They are strong, captivating, bad boys, decent men, with honor, revenge, loyalty or redemption top of mind. We want them silent and brave, sexy and broad-shouldered (a six pack can add to the love), but willing to do whatever they must do (once they’ve put aside that pesky character flaw) to be the man they were always meant to me (for that one special woman!). Yep. We love to write them and to read them. And we are fans.

But let’s talk about the extremes of fandom for a moment (since I understand extreme fandom better than most:)…

Scan 141770001Back in the day, I fell for a show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and yes, around the Internet lately, I’ve been talking about my Whedon obsession. And yes, I know NOT a book, but a TV show that wrote characters as if they were in a book (IMHO). I traveled far and wide to have moments with my TV boyfriends. The photo here was taken at an event in London a few years ago. And yes, I was a happy girl that day:)! I was sandwiched between (and oh, how I wish:) David Boreanaz (Angel) and James Marsters (Spike).

My other TV boyfriend is truly my boyfriend although a few authors (Avery Flynn, Robin CovingtonTracy Brogan, and Michelle Monkou) have been tricked into thinking he belongs to them, or should be shared equally among his fans, or some rot. But Dean Winchester aka Jensen Ackles is MINE.eb54b6116aa81eca0c440ed792899332

I have had many TV boyfriends, and have fallen for many a book boyfriend, but right now, I have fallen hard, and forever, for a man named Jamie.

Yes. I’m nearly two decades behind on reading the books – but OMG, I’m in it now and OUTLANDER is heaven. And Jamie is the pearly gates (prize at the end of the rainbow and everything else you can throw into the pot – he’s it!). And dang STARZ for producing the TV series starring a man who embodies Jamie in my mind, or at least who looks the part:)…Outlander_Cast_Jamie_420x560_v2-420x420

I am seriously thinking about heading across the pond to wherever they are filming OUTLANDER and vacationing (for a few dozen weeks). And do they have fan events like Outlander-Con? If they do, I also in!

So question of the day, name your latest book boyfriend or TV show boyfriend, and have you ever gone as far as London to meet them in person (me and the Buffy boys for example:), or fought with friends over pillowcases with their images on them (Tracy, Michelle, Robin, Avery, you know who you are!). How badly have you fan-girled an author? – The adjustment from normal to fangirl is a thin line…and slipping over the edge could be, you know, embarrassing!   (Remember  the root of the word fan – is fanatic:)…Full disclosure, please!