Some of my mermaid friends know that my daughter returned to the nest two years ago. She made a brave decision, and walked away from an abusive and failing marriage.

She’s made a lot of progress since that sad day, but one thing hasn’t changed. Obsessive-compulsive living. I know, because I have it, too.

This condition, often dormant (or so we tell ourselves) has most recently emerged, yet again, as the two of us teamed up to redecorate our home’s main bathroom. The lavender color it sported for two years, on which we agreed only after hours-long discussions, was voted out. Unbeautiful, it lay on the walls with a sort of hyper-polite, John Gielgud air. Trust me, there ain’t no joyful living with a slightly grape-griege wall surface tapping on your brain in the morning as a person brushes her teeth.

She settled on a vibrant teal (inspired by a clock, but that’s another story). It’s very kick-ass.  Then, she wanted a new shower curtain. And wouldn’t it be nice to replace the laundry baskets with a woven hamper? How about a curved shower rod? New wastebasket? And oh, yeah, that cute crocheted toilet paper caddy, Mom, that you made during the blizzard when the lights were out for thirteen hours? It has to go.

And on and on. I fear, at the moment, the decorating vibe is waning, however. Twenty minutes remains to paint the window woodwork. Another thirty is needed to mount the new blind. I see no movement recently.

That’s okay, because I also decided the master bathroom could use some updating.

I’ve bought five shower curtains and returned four. Two bath rugs bought, one remains. Ditto the trash can. Just one new shower rod and rings. By sheer good luck, I happened on a yard sale and found a framed poster that will replace the current artwork.   

As a last salute to the OCD urge, I mounted the latest (and last!) shower curtain this morning, pleated the header into a neat bundle and dosed the knife edges with a nice shot of spray starch.  OCD, some?  Yeah, buddy. 

My bathroom is done.  I refuse to worry about the Daughter’s.  It’s all good, you know, to let a thirty-year old claim her project. It has me wondering, though, as I trot here and there, both buying and returning:

Isn’t this a lot like writing?

Well, it’s not. If it were writing, I’d be doing the BICHOK thing, spinning out words (like now, and on deadline, too).

However, the back and forth of choosing, modifying, changing course, writing, rewriting, sticking to a program to create the best bathroom book possible?

Share with me, if you dare, your obsessive-compulsive moments with decorating  writing.  Maybe there’s a pattern!

There’s no good way to end a relationship, especially if one party doesn’t want it to end.  But how to react when the relationship never got off the ground?

A friend of mine is swimming in a tarn of internet dating.  And I’m along for the ride.  We have lawyers who can’t spell lawyer.  A world traveler who has never heard of Machu Picchu and one bozo who only wanted to discuss the dimensions he would bring to the relationship.  Yes, those dimensions.  Within this jambalaya of bachelors, there are of course, nice, sweet guys, who by all accounts look good on paper, but just don’t have that “something” that connects her to them.  So then the question arises, how to let them know, it’s just not there.

Asking me for advice, less so for my dating experience (ahem, 10-year wedding anniversary coming up) and more for wordsmithing, I give her my .01 cent of advice.   Be nice, be gentle, but be honest.   Something like, Mr. Bachelor, you are a wonderful person with amazing qualities but I don’t feel we should pursue anything more than a friendship.

Easy.  Nice.  Gentle.

How can anyone not like that response?

And then it came in the mail.

“Dear Masha.  Thank for letting me read your submission.  While you definitely have a way with words, I didn’t feel connected to this project and will not pursue requesting anything further.  I wish you the very best in your future endeavors and I know you will find a right home for your work.”

Easy.  Nice.  Gentle.

Ouch.

Mermaid Loni Lynne here and ready to go (after some technical difficulties due to a loose nut in front of the keyboard)! I am so happy to be back among my sisters in the pond! They welcomed the prodigal fish home with open fins and excitedly flapping tails.

I am back from a hiatus in which I had to take for health issues and working on my well-being. But everyone’s well-being is important and we as a society tend to take it for granted.

Little things we disregard about ourselves could lead to serious things if not treated and looked into. But weariness, stress and lack of a proper lifestyle are easy masks to fall back on. We’ve heard ourselves say it… “Oh, I’m just stressed. That’s why I’m not sleeping well.”

Just because ‘stressed spelled backwards is desserts’ doesn’t mean we should take it in stride. We have to fix the issues of our stress and move forward.

Because of a stressful block of time, I had been put out of commission. A visit to the hospital put me on the track to finding I had not only a hiatal hernia in my esophagus (which causes me to have esophageal spasms when stressed–think of getting a tortilla chip stuck in your esophagus and it not going up or down–that is how it feels without anything in there). Not fun! I couldn’t eat or drink for nearly a week without pain. Swallowing was a major issue.

My doctor ordered some tests and a procedure to take pictures of esophagus. In his findings he found the hernia but also something worse…I had Celiac Disease. I had been destroying the very vital villi lining of my intestines (the part that takes in the nutrients into our blood stream). Because of this I was anemic, tired, irritable…just not feeling well at all. I couldn’t function, my brain was sluggish as was my body in general.

How long had I been suffering? I don’t know. Long enough to feel the negative pull on my body.

That was a year ago, almost to the day. I had a follow-up with my doctor and even though I still must maintain a strict Gluten-Free (no wheat, rye, barley) diet, I was given an 8 on a 1 to 10 scale of success. My doctor was impressed and said to keep doing what I’ve been doing. My body is slowly repairing itself…as long as I don’t give in to Gluten.

I’m trying very hard to use that same lesson in issues with Stress. If I don’t feed myself a diet high in stress (gluten), then I can repair my stress issues.

I’ve organized my writing schedule to fit in with my personal schedule. It is a job to me so I treat it as such. Just as any professional would do, I keep a day planner of my writing, so I have six to eight hours a day (not everyone can do this), I take breaks to exercise, drink plenty of water and work on domestic things as needed. By the time my dear hubby comes home, I’m finished with my day, also.

Recently, I took a workshop with the wonderful Candace Haven on Fast Drafting. She had some great ideas about how to pump out your book in two weeks. The word count was my issue but knowing I can (and have) pumped out 1,000 words an hour and knowing I have time scheduled for just that purpose…I can get quite a bit done in my writing. But I am also going through edits, marketing, promotional, etc.

Just like a real job, schedule the time for each item to do. I love lists and marking items off as they are done is a major triumph in my days.

But remember to take time to enjoy your time, your health and well-being (mentally, physically and emotionally). If you don’t, the things that mean the most to you will suffer…leading to more stress.

One thing I’ve always done to keep stress at bay…hugs. Hugs and touch have been known to be cure-all for many issues and lowers blood pressure which is a big stress kicker.

So I used to say, ‘Raising my cup of French Vanilla Cafe to you’ (which I can no longer have)…I will now end with, “Wrapping my arms around you in a hug.’ Perhaps it will help with just a bit of stress in all of our lives.

Wrapping my arms around you in a hug,

Loni Lynne