All posts by Kerri Carpenter

Kissing Mr. Wrong

I’m a very excited Mermaid today. Why? Because my new book, KISSING MR. WRONG, comes out in less than 3 weeks!!! *glitter toss*

This novella is the first of three stories in the Wrong Man series being released by Entangled Publishing on May 26. Here’s a short blurb:

After a lousy day, graphic designer Vanessa Hewitt decides to drown her sorrows in a sexily satisfying man she’ll never see again. Three months later, however, she learns that her hot hook-up is actually her best friend’s younger brother, John Campbell―and they have to plan an engagement party together. Now John and Vanessa have to hide the truth. The only trouble is that Mr. Wrong is starting to look a lot like Mr. Very Right…

Sound good? How about a cover reveal? Sound better? Enjoy…

KMW Cover

Even better yet? KISSING MR. WRONG is up for pre-order on Amazon.

And if you want to stay up-to-date on all Kerri-related sparkleness, make sure to sign up for my newsletter or follow me on social media.

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Off to count down the days until my May 26 Release Day…. Happy Reading!

 

 

 

Romance is Everywhere

Three Mermaids walk into a bar…

I just had to start out that way because back in July three Mermaids were in a bar. Alethea, Denny, and I were at a bar in San Antonio for a publisher’s party during the RWA Annual Conference®. When the party started dying down, we decided to walk back to our hotel. Because walking in the late-July Texas heat was our best idea? Turns out, we didn’t even notice the heat.

Scene of the Romance

Scene of the Romance

As we made our way along the festive, color-bursting River Walk, a young man dressed in military uniform rushed by us. He was on a mission. And if the big bouquet of beautiful flowers said anything, it was that this mission was of the romantic persuasion.

So Alethea, Denny, and I did what any normal person who writes romance novels would do. We hiked up our fancy dresses and started following him. It didn’t take long for us to realize we weren’t the only people who took notice. Heads turned left and right. A man sidled up to the soldier for part of the walk. And before we knew it, there was a huge mass of people following us. If you’ve ever seen Love Actually and are familiar with the final scene when Colin Firth is walking through the village to propose and the whole town follows him – that’s pretty much what it was like.

As we neared his final destination, he picked up the pace. So did the rest of us. We weaved in and out of restaurants, around chairs and tables set up next to the canal, as the passing boat tours pointed out the sights and yummy wafts of Mexican food met our noses.

Finally, we reached a restaurant. As if the entire crowd was in on it, we all dispersed to different places and waited anxiously for whatever would come next.

The soldier didn’t miss a beat. He ducked around a couple tables, flowers still clutched in hand. Then he approached a table with an older couple and a young girl. Tapping on her shoulder, she turned, took him in. Surprise turned to shock turned to tears. And then they were embracing, flowers forgotten. Large crowd of cheering spectators forgotten. Hot, humid weather forgotten.

Romantic Mermaids

Romantic Mermaids

But romance. That was very much not forgotten.

It was really nice to think that during this big romance conference we actually got to experience an amazingly romantic gesture. And I hope that whatever happens with the two of them will involve many, many retellings of that magical, romantic night when a whole bunch of strangers followed a man in love.

 

Random, Sparkly, Silly

Happy Release Day to our own lovely, funny, sparkly, kind, sweet, West Coast Mermaid, Carlene Love Flores!!!! Hoorah! *glitter toss*

I’m not even going to waste any time. Carlene has a new sexy book out called Stay for Me and she’s going to tell us about it. Plus, find out how Carlene remembers my accessories years later, who she’d bring to visit Alethea-Mermaid in Florida, and what her favorite Mermaid memory is. Ready, set, go…

1.     You just released a new book yesterday, Stay for Me – hoorah! Tell us a little about it.

Yes! Hoorah! But first I’d like to thank you, Miss Kerri Mermaid, for being such an excellent cheerleader of your fellow mermaids and romance books! Fishy kisses, xoxo.

Stay for Me is the first book in a new series called These Three Words. The series follows the unique love lives of  a troupe of best buddies who also happen to be male revue dancers. It was inspired by a night I spent in Las Vegas taking in the Chippendales and Australia’s Thunder from Down Under shows. In Stay for Me, former soldier turned dancer, Sam, has a limited amount of time to prove to his best friend Emma that she is safe with him, no matter what happened in their past and not just inside the club where they work together, but outside in the real world too. The clock is ticking because oops, as an assistant show manager, Emma has been given the task of suspending Sam on this very night when she needs him there with her most.

Carlene's new book - Stay for Me

Carlene’s new book – Stay for Me

2. Stay for Me is your 7th book. Can you believe it! I remember when we were just two scared little bunnies trying to get through a pitching session at the WRW Retreat. To celebrate your massive success, let’s play a game. Answer the following questions. You can use one, and only one, sentence to explain. Or, you can let us all imagine.

Wait! First I have to agree with you, it’s unbelievable that this is #7! For the record, I think we’re still scared little bunnies, hahahahaha! Okay, now onto the fun…

Which of your characters would you take to…

A dinner party? Awww, Lucky Mason because he’s just the right mix of good manners and Southern rugged charm, plus he cleans up real nice.

A Depeche Mode concert? Sisters Trista and Lily because Depeche shows are all about having fun with your girlfriends and letting your unruly hair down.

To visit Alethea-Mermaid in Florida? Oooh, definitely Gabe because a) he loves Greek food and b) he’s not afraid to don a tiara for the right person!

To baby-sit my dog, Harry in Virginia? Kids and dogs just seem to get him when the ladies don’t… big, gentle, quirky webmaster Benny, hands down.

To the beach? He’s Aussie so he can battle sharks, he’s the leader of the band and he’s a single daddy…I’m looking at you, Jaxon James.

With you to wait in line at the DMV? Most definitely Stefan because before we went, I’d dare him to flirt our way to the front of the line and he’d probably pull it off!

Carlene's favorite book cover - My favorite hero!

Carlene’s favorite book cover – My favorite hero!

 

3. The cover for Stay for Me is pretty hotsauce. What has been your favorite cover so far?

Why thank you! I do love the Stay for Me cover, especially the little S on the door and the way Sam is tugging Emma’s jeans, but my favorite is still my very first cover, Sidewalk Flower. Without a doubt, the couple on that one is Lucky and Trista, all the way to the core.

 

 

 

4. What is one place in the continental U.S. that you haven’t been and would like to visit?

Easy peasy, I want to go to Forks, Washington!!!!!! I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain why. 😉

5. What has been your favorite Waterworld Mermaid moment?

There was a night when we all met up at Coastal Flats in Tyson’s Corner to celebrate the release of Robin’s first sale. You were wearing bright yellow to include the flower in your hair. Our waiter was completely adorable and somewhat Klaus-like from The Originals; I think his name was Thad. Pintip and Kim couldn’t get enough of their sugar cane sticks and we had a great time. Sadly though, this was also the night that Whitney Houston passed away and I think it might have been freakishly snowing outside. It’s definitely the most memorable for me. Unless you count the time we all went up with you to Maryland to stalk Nora Roberts or the time we starred in our own crazy panel at the WRW Retreat. Oh wait, and the time we were all supposed to meet in Ocean City for a writing getaway but then Sandy Hurricane Pants hit before I could get there and you all were stuck without me! I guess there are lots of ‘em.

6. As always, I have to go here. I love the ten questions that James Lipton asks at the end of every episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio. Your turn.

  1. What is your favorite word? — Depeche
  2. What is your least favorite word? – Anything mean spirited
  3. What turns you on? – A dimpled grin.
  4. What turns you off? — Hypocrisy
  5. What sound or noise do you love? – Casey James’ guitar playing
  6. What sound or noise do you hate? – Car crash sounds
  7. What is your favorite curse word? – Silly Hero, you know I don’t have one!
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? – Solid Gold Dancer
  9. What profession would you not like to do? – Astronaut!
  10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Well done, kiddo.

7. Besides sending your critique partner a gift for this FABULOUS interview, what’s next for you?

Yes, aside from that, in two days, I will be attending my very first book signing! It’s at The Menger Hotel in San Antonio at the Wild Wicked Weekend conference. Um, from what I understand there is a lair full of hot men that ladies are taken to in groups of 30. If I survive, I will regale all our fishy friends here at the pond with the juicy details and hopefully some pics. If I don’t survive, I’m honored for this to have been my last Mermaid post, done by my sparkly, effervescent Hero, Kerri! Xoxoxo Giant Fishy Kisses!

Hoorah for Carlene and her latest book!!! Now, let’s all cyber-stalk her. Links and book blurb below.

Click here to order Stay for Me! 

Website: www.carlenelove.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorCarleneLoveFlores

Twitter: https://twitter.com/cloveflores

GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6887320.Carlene_Love_Flores

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Carlene-Love-Flores/e/B00B04MD96/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Stay for Me

One night to finally make it right before it all gets torn apart…

Two years ago, best friends Emma Chester and Sam Jason tried being intimate. Due to Sam’s massive size, it didn’t work. Emma was hurt. Embarrassed, they did their best to move on. Now the day has come when Emma must suspend Sam as a dancer at the club they work at, awakening the buried pain of that one night.

Sam has seen this day coming but is shocked when Emma asks him to strip for her just once before he leaves the club. Allowing himself to feel for her again is too dangerous but she’s clearly not in her right mind and needs him.

Can he maintain his restraint and help her?

When she hands him his uniform to strip out of, is she handing him her heart? Or is it too tattered to ever belong to him again?

 

 

Mermaids & Friends: Lynne Silver

Today is another installment of Mermaids & Friends. I’m very happy to welcome a very talented writer and one of my fabulous critique partners, the awesomesauce Lynne Silver. *Glitter toss* Oops, Lynne hates glitter. 😉

Lynne has a new book out called Waiting on Love and it’s amazing! More details later, but in the meantime, please enjoy Lynne’s post.

Top 5 things to do when stuck in an airport Waiting on Love

In Waiting on Love, KK and Aidan meet because there’s a major snow storm back on the east coast and they’re caught in Dallas with no flights out for at least 20 hours. So what to do when stuck in an unfamiliar airport with a hot stranger?

  1. Leave the airport for a meal. Forget about the TSA- you’ve got hours to get back through security. Thanks to Yelp and Urban Spoon, try to sample some local delicacies.
  2. Shop- Unless you’re at an airport in Podunk, there’s some good shopping to be had at the airport. In Miami, my kids love the Miami Heat fan store. In Washington Dulles airport, I love the Smithsonian shop. My husband loves to shop at the American Airlines store in Dallas/Ft. Worth- he has t-shirts, hats etc…to show his platinum loyalty! He also likes that other travelers think he’s an American employee and ask him questions.
  3. Get a massage. Seriously. Lots of airports are offering seated massage. Last time I flew through Dallas, I spotted a Barber shop!
  4. Celebrity spot in the lounge. So this is only possible if you’re a member of the lounge or willing to fork over the money for a pass. Mr. Silver travels (a lot) and has access thanks to one of his credit cards. Celebrity spottings in the past few months include: Mandy Patinkin, one of the teachers from New Girl, Anna Faris, and more. He’s good at the celebrity spot.
  5. Get a room! Literally. KK and Aidan split a room for budget reasons and then made full use of the *cough* amenities in the room.

About the Author

Romance author, Lynne Silver, writes the popular Coded for Love series and other hot contemporary romance novels, such as Love, Technically. Before writing romance, she wrote fiction of a different sort, drafting press releases for technology corporations. Washington DC is her home (non) state, where she resides with her husband and two sons. She is represented by literary agent, Jessica Alvarez of Bookends LLC.

Thanks for joining us in the lagoon today, Lynne! Here’s all the details you need on Lynne’s new book. Happy Reading!

Buy Links:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1D3rnuB

All Romance eBooks: http://bit.ly/1EcsbOo

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/1KLiqei

iTunes: http://bit.ly/1z9vfHZ

Kobo: http://bit.ly/16VcfoP

Stalker links:

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/tU2O5

Facebook: www.facebook.com/lynnesilverauthor

GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/LynneSilver

Twitter: @LynneSilver

Website: www.lynnesilver.com

After a disastrous vacation breakup with the man who was supposed to be The One, KK O’Brien decides she’s done. Love will find her when the time is right.  

On her flight home, she’s seated next to a male soldier, Aidan Dominguez, whom she ignores, because one: he is male (a trait she’s recently excised from her mind), two: he’s younger than her, and three: he’s on his way to be deployed overseas (geographically undesirable). When weather grounds her flight, she agrees to a drink and more with Aidan. After all, he’s leaving the country and she’s done projecting hope and wedding bells onto encounters with men. KK knows this is nothing more than a one-night stand with an extremely sexy soldier. It’s practically her patriotic duty to send him off to war with a good last memory.  

Aidan and KK have a great night together and they part with the expectation that they’ll never see each other again. Only, a few weeks later, the first email from Aidan arrives. Once she replies, another arrives, and soon an epistolary love affair blossoms where love was never supposed to grow. When Aidan asks for a shot at being her man, KK must decide if she’s brave enough to take another chance on love.

Mermaid Takeover – Kerri Bumps Alethea

Here at the Mermaid Lagoon, we each get at least one day a month to blog. Today is Alethea’s day. Or was… [Insert ominous laugh]

That’s right, I’m stealing Alethea’s day! But before you get your fins in a bunch, don’t worry. It’s all to talk about our lovely, amazing, sparkly, Princess, massively talented, beautiful Mermaid Alethea. And bonus, she has a new book out today called Dearest, the 3rd book in the Woodcutter series, and it’s amazeballs! I’m not just saying that because she was my crazy-fun roommate in San Antonio who encouraged me to put whipped cream in my coffee every morning or make waffles in the shape of Texas.

So read on to learn more about our very own Alethea, what she’d make me for dinner, how she’s taking my dog to Hawaii, and which noise she really, really hates. (It’s a good one!) Go Alethea! Dearest

 

When I think of fairy tales, I generally think of the Disney version of said fairy tale, which may or may not be an accurate depiction of the original story. What Disney adaptation of a fairy tale is your favorite?

Everyone always expects me to say Beauty & the Beast because I look like Belle…and act like Belle…but my answer to this question has to be The Little Mermaid. I loved this Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale so much as a child. I would read it…and cry…and then read it again. When I found out Disney was adapting “The Little Mermaid,” my eyes were like saucers. I mean…SHE DIES. Can they do that?!? But Disney gave that mermaid what we’d all been wishing for her for 150 years: a happy ending.

It’s a random Sunday night and I show up at your house. What are you making me for dinner?

If you caught me at the last minute, I’d make you Greek Chicken & Potatoes. It’s a staple of the Kontis house–a favorite, and easy to make. If I had all the ingredients and all the time, I’d make you my mother’s moussaka. Because it’s possibly my favorite dish ever. And if you don’t care for eggplant, I’ll do the Thea Ana variation that’s made with only potatoes.

You travel. A lot! What one place surprised you the most? And in what way?

There was this one place, at my horrid ex-fiance’s mother’s house in Newcastle, England. The ex was horrid but his mother was lovely, as was her husband (the ex’s stepfather) who, in his retirement, did things like climb mountains and grow things. There was a stone wall beside their house, and through the archway I found the most amazing garden. I walked among the flowers and plants, barefoot in the thick grass. Standing there on the top of that hill, with the wind in my hair, I had a moment of complete serenity. It occurred to me that this was the most beautiful place I had ever been to on the planet.

And then the ex called me inside and ordered me to wipe my feet off so I didn’t get grass stains on his mother’s white carpet.

Speaking of traveling… I’m very busy reading Dearest and my dog Harry needs to go for a walk so you’re going to have to help me out. He loves beaches. Where in the world are you taking him?

Let’s go to Hawaii. I’ve always wanted to go, and I have some friends there I’d love to visit!

Give me one Easter Egg from Dearest.

All the Kates in Dearest are named after my dear friend (and award-winning voice actress) Kate Baker, because I was writing that scene on her birthday.

As always, I have to go here. I love the ten questions that James Lipton asks at the end of every episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio. Your turn.

  1. What is your favorite word? — syzygy
  2. What is your least favorite word? — failure
  3. What turns you on? — intelligence
  4. What turns you off? — people who don’t read
  5. What sound or noise do you love? — dried leaves skittering down the street in the Fall
  6. What sound or noise do you hate? — When people say “blech” at food without tasting it
  7. What is your favorite curse word? — Joy. As in, “Oh, JOY.”
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? — Marine Chemist. It’s what I studied in college. I miss being a genius.
  9. What profession would you not like to do? — anything involving a cubicle. *shudder*
  10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? “Alethea! Lovely to see you. Here’s the photo album you requested.”

I have always said that when I die, I wish to see a photo album of all the pictures where I appear somewhere in the background. Families on vacation, strangers at conventions, random folks on the street. I’ve always been curious to know just how many people I might have known…how many lives I might have touched but for some twist of fate.

Alethea & Kerri, Selfies at RWA 2014

Alethea teaching Keri how to take a selfie at RWA 2014.

 

Who is your favorite Mermaid sister? [Evil grin]

WHY, KERRI MERMAID OF COURSE!!!
(You may deliver the truck of glitter to my new house in Florida. But only if you come too!)

 

 

 

Okay, I will alter that question because I’m not completely evil. [Shut up, peanut gallery!] Hollywood comes a-calling. Cast your Mermaid sisters in Enchanted, Hero, and Dearest.

Ooh…tough one!

Carlene — Sunday Woodcutter (without a doubt)

Denny — Aunt Joy (omg she is SO Aunt Joy!)

Kerri — Friday Woodcutter (big heart, big adventure)

Susan — Henry Humbug (silly but knows EVERYTHING)

Masha — Monday Woodcutter (beautiful, serene, dark, & powerful)

Dana — Thursday Woodcutter (only because Dana is too short to be Saturday Woodcutter)

Pintip — Yarlitza Mitella (exotic and fashionable, with a colorful history involving the Duke of Cauchemar)

Loni — Aunt Rose Red, The Abbess of Rose Abbey

Kimberly — Mama Woodcutter (because Kim has like 18 kids…)

 

BEST INTERVIEW EVER! I should totally steal Alethea’s day more often. While I ponder doing that, make sure you check out Dearest, out today in hardcover and digital versions. Seriously, check it out. Do it! Or I’m sending you one of those exploding glitter boxes!

For more about Alethea, check out her website here. And to really stalk her, click the icons below.

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Xio Axelrod Swims with the Mermaids

Roll out the red carpet. We have a special guest in the Mermaid Lagoon today and I’m so excited about it! *Glitter toss* Not only is her self-pubbed novella, The Calum, releasing tomorrow, but she’s funny, smart, and some would say, quite “tasty.” Curious? Read on…

In her debut Waterworld Mermaid appearance, please welcome, Mermaid for a Day, Xio Axelrod.

Congratulations! Your novella, The Calum, is releasing tomorrow. Care to tell us a little about it?The Calum

Thank you! It’s so exciting. The Calum is really about fantasy versus reality. Imagine, if you will, that you had a chance to meet your ultimate book boyfriend in the flesh. My heroine’s roommate is obsessed with Calum MacKenzie, a character from her favorite novel. The girls travel to Scotland in search of “the Calum”. Do they find him? You’ll have to read to find out.

The idea came about while watching Outlander fans collectively swoon over Jamie Fraser. Everyone I know is in love with him. And no, I’m not immune. JAMMF all the way, baby.

You decided to self-publish this novella. Can you tell us why you decided to go that route and a little bit about the process of self-publishing?

There’s a fantastic quote from Leonardo da Vinci. “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” I’m fairly new to the romance world and to publishing in general. After attending a few conferences and chatting with a lot of lovely friends who are authors, I realized how long the publishing process can be. Essentially, you submit your work and wait. And wait. And wait some more. Newsflash: I am not a patient person.

In my life as an independent musician, DIY is de rigueur. I am most comfortable having complete control over my career, so this should have been a no-brainer. It wasn’t. I went back and forth for months before I finally pulled the trigger. Once the decision was made, I realized I had all of the pieces in place to make a run at it. I am a social media maven by nature, I have an amazing network of talented, supportive authors willing to offer advice, and I’m handy with PhotoShop. It was just a matter of finding the right company to distribute my work. So here we are. My fingers and toes are crossed. I do still plan to submit to agents and publishers, but I have others works set aside for that.

I hear you’re part of this thing on Facebook called #TastyTuesday. What is it and how did it start?

You heard about that, did you? Well, being a newbie, I wanted to establish the tone for my brand as an author. What better way to do that than with photos of hot guys? Ha! Of course, there’s much more to Tasty Tuesday than that. When you, Denny S. Bryce and Kim Golden came aboard, it became a celebration of all of the things we love. We all share what inspires us as authors, and that is an excellent behind-the-scenes look at what makes us tick. I especially like the fact that we change themes every week and continually find new ones to explore. Plus, hot guys!

Plotter or Pantser?

Hybrid. That’s a cop out answer, I know, but it’s true. I plot in my head, sometimes for weeks, before I ever type a single word in Scrivener. I learned long ago when I wrote fan fiction that if I outlined a story on paper (or on the screen), I could never finish it. Once I knew the ending, the story was done for me. I’ve figured out a way to work around that by never writing down the ending until I get there in the manuscript. It’s working so far but talk to me in a year or so.

Let’s take a quick break from writing, what TV shows are you currently watching and what’s your favorite show of all time?

You’ve opened up a can of gummy worms there. I am a TV junkie, particularly genre television. My current fave is Outlander, of course. It was so thrilling to watch a beloved favorite come to life on screen. They’ve done a fantastic job so far and I can’t wait until the series returns in April. *sigh* April! Did I mention I wasn’t a patient person?

Other shows I love include Hannibal, Arrow, The Flash, American Horror Story, Doctor Who, Sleepy Hollow, The Walking Dead…do you see a theme yet? Favorite show of all time? I honestly can’t say that I have one. X-Files? Star Trek: the Next Generation? Farscape? I could never pick one. Junkie, here.

I love Inside the Actor’s Studio, especially the 10 questions James Lipton asks at the end of the show. Without further ado:

  1. What is your favorite word? Saudades. It’s Portuguese and untranslatable, but it is the feeling of missing something or someone.
  2. What is your least favorite word? No.
  3. What turns you on? Intelligence.
  4. What turns you off? Arrogance.
  5. What sound or noise do you love? Laughter.
  6. What sound or noise do you hate? Cutlery clashing against plates/bowls. (Don’t laugh.)
  7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck.
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I think I’d make a pretty good television writer/director.
  9. What profession would you not like to do? POTUS
  10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? I told you so.

LastlyXio Axelrod, what are you working on now?

I’m plotting (in my head, of course) book two of the Calum series and book one of the next in my “book boyfriend” series. I’m also editing my web serial, Starstruck, into a series of books. I hope to publish the first one, Falling Stars, next spring. And, if that wasn’t enough, I am finishing book one of an erotic romance series for agent submissions. Other than that, I’m working on my new album. Busy? Me? Nah. Thanks for letting me be a mermaid for a day!

Let’s clap our fins together for Xio! Wasn’t she a fabulous Mermaid for a day! Check out all of her book and author info below.

The Calum

Twenty-six is too old to believe in fairytales, but tell that to Lovie’s roommate. Convinced she’ll find a real life version of her ultimate book boyfriend, Calum MacKenzie, Jo drags Lovie to the Scottish Highlands. Lovie’s no cynic *ahem* but she knows The Calum is a myth. A construct. A freaking unicorn! And there are warmer places to spend Christmas vacation.

If Duff had his way, he’d never step foot in Inverness again. Only his best friend’s wedding, and his ailing grandmother, could bring him home. Duff’s plan is keep his head down and stay out of trouble. Hard to do when the groom targets a pretty blond tourist for one last conquest.

When Duff and Lovie meet, stones, sparks and insults fly. He’s instantly attracted to the sexy, sharp-tongued American. She’s just glad to have someone to hang out with, especially the bad boy with a mysterious past. Lovie is determined to learn his secrets, but as they grow closer, Duff is forced to choose between his best friend and his heart.

I can’t wait to order The Calum tomorrow! Here are the Buy Links.

Amazon

B&N

iTunes

Kobo

Link to Follow Tour

Goodreads Link

I MUST know more about this Xio! You’re in luck. Here are her Author Links.

Website
Facebook
Twitter
Goodreads
Google+
Pinterest
Instagram
Ello
tsū

Amazon Author Page

 

Hot and Humid

In 2011, I went to the RWA® National Conference in New York City and pitched a manuscript. I remember the pitching room was filled with like 427,000 agents and editors. The waiting area outside was commandeered by a mean woman who yelled at us like cattle. Really naughty cattle who had used her toothbrush. She detested us! Kerri Carpenter

I walked up to a very well-known editor wearing my specially chosen flouncy polka-dot skirt and coordinating hair accessories, which she did comment on. Yay! I knew we would be best friends. I pitched my manuscript, she liked it, and asked me to send the whole thing. Then she said the words that rocked my world.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ANYTHING ELSE?

At the time, I was quite nervous and somewhat flustered from above mean lady yelling at me like cattle. I didn’t take the time to process her question. If I had, I would have realized she meant, do you have anything else that is finished that you can pitch to me today because you are slotted to talk to me for ten minutes and we are only a minute and half into your session. Instead, I took her question to mean, Have you written anything else…EVER?

With a big smile and imaginary glitter, I shouted a resounding, “Yes!”

Editor stared at me. Shit! The reality came crashing down. She wanted me to pitch another story.

So with an adorable smile, I made up a story off the top of my head. It involved four sisters who had been adopted by two people who died at the opening of the first book. They lived in a quaint Virginia town called Blue Lake. The love story was about reunited high school loves.

The editor’s eyes lit up. “Send it to me immediately.”

Double-shit. I hadn’t written it yet. Hell, I’d just thought it up.

When the conference ended, I visited my brother out on Long Island. I sat on the sand of a beach in East Hampton and started writing this mythical story by hand in a legal pad.

That story is called The Best Kind of Love.

It is going to be published tomorrow.

It’s taken many names and many shapes over the last three years. The editor I pitched it to in NYC did not acquire it. I almost gave up on it multiple times. But it was that crazy story I thought up on the spot that eventually won two contests and brought me together with my agent. It’s not just a story I made up off the top of my head. It’s been my story for the last three years. And I can’t wait to share it with all of you.

And if you’re wondering about the title of this post – Hot and Humid – well, that’s a story for another time….

TBKoL-medium

My Shameful Secret

If you read the title of this post, you are probably dying to know what my shameful secret is. Have I committed some crime? Did I rob a bank? Am I a double-agent? Do I moonlight as a real housewife on a reality show? The what-ifs could go on and on.

But here it is. My shameful secret…Kerri Carpenter

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

I’m a slow reader!!!

*Hangs head*

A really, really slow reader. I pick up a book. I begin reading. Flowers begin to bloom. Babies are born. The Earth completes countless rotations. And I’m flipping to page 20. Page 20 out of 220.

It’s shameful for me because I’m a freaking writer. And because I read every single night and have been reading every single night since I was a child. I even read when I’ve had a couple glasses of wine and am somewhat tipsy. That might actually help with my speed, come to think of it…

For years, it’s killed my soul every time I hear someone say they just LOVED a book and finished it in one night. One night? I’m lucky if I can finish one chapter in a night.

Maybe part of this has to do with the fact that I’m reading/simultaneously studying the way the author puts the words together. I like seeing what conflict she picks or where she sets her story. Sometimes I read a paragraph and it makes my own writer-brain run off to the creativity forest and immediately start coming up with my own plot lines and ideas.

But now, it’s time to finally come clean. I’ve kept this shameful secret to myself for years. Finally, I’m ready to step out of the shadows and acknowledge my imperfections.

Hello, my name is Kerri, and I’m a slow reader.

Tell me in the comments: Fast reader or slow? I promise to read every answer. Which, of course, will take me three days.

Please Don’t Pass the Salt!

This is Month 10 (10? Can you believe it!) of my made-up Sparkle Plan. What’s the Sparkle Plan? Check out the first post here.

We all have our taste preferences. Mine happens to lean – like Leaning Tower of Pisa-lean – toward salt. When confronted, I will always pick chips over ice cream, popcorn over chocolate, Cheese Nips over, well, anything.

My favorite pizza is with extra cheese and anchovies.

I like bread and cheese and wine and SALT!

See where I’m going? Yeah, my body figured out I was on a downward salt spiral and so did my doctor.

Kerri Carpenter

My Mermaid Avatar is clearly on a no-salt diet!

Doctor’s Orders: KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE SALT.

But kind of in a more serious way. Like a “you’re actually sick and swollen” kind of way. So I have been put on a low-to-no salt diet.

The plus side to this heinous act against nature is that I’ve dropped four pounds in a week. The negative side… Very. Long. List. Alas, I know I can do this and I’ll come out healthy, sparkly, and salt-free on the other side. Even if I’m a little cranky-pants in the meantime.

While I’m pondering killing anyone with so much as a speck of salt on their food, I thought I would give you an update on the Month 9 Goal of saying one nice thing about myself. I liked this goal! It’s fun to complement yourself and once you get started, it’s kinda hard to stop. Here are some examples of nice things about me from the last month:

I’m having an amazing hair day.

I look really cute in my Steelers outfit.

Damn, I’m a great writer.

My eye makeup is outstanding today.

I’m like the best cook ever!

Join me in the comments. Do you prefer sweet or salty? (And anyone with low-salt recipes, please share!!!)

*I am not a doctor. Obviously, since I’ve eaten so much salt that a real doctor had to intervene. Mmmmm, salt… Hence, always consult your own physician before embarking on any fitness or eating plan.

 

Priorities

I’m in a funk.

I know! Not the way you wanted me to start my Month 9 Sparkle Plan post. But since I promised to be honest during the Sparkle Plan, I have to talk about my funk.

(What in the hell is the Sparkle Plan? It’s all about my weight loss and getting healthy journey. Check out the inaugural post here.) Kerri Carpenter

While pondering my funk this past week, I realized three things. 1. I do not make myself a priority. 2. When trying to get healthy (losing weight, being more active, whatever), you have to make yourself a priority. 3. I’m kinda mean…to myself!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to go for a run or attend a Zumba class but have gotten waylaid. My dog needs my attention or a friend calls. The laundry won’t do itself and I NEED socks. I’m on a writing deadline. I have a blog post due. The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell movie is on. (Just kidding. Well, not really. But kind of.)

Also, I’ve realized over the course of the last nine months that my problem with weight loss rests mostly with food. I really, really struggle with my diet. That makes it extra sad when I’m finally on a roll with eating but then my dog needs my attention or a friend calls and needs a calorie-laden girls’ night. The laundry won’t do itself and that means I can’t get to the grocery store to buy healthy food. Takeout is soooo much easier. (And fattier.) I’m on a writing deadline and I stress eat. The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell movie is being re-aired. (Just kidding. Okay, seriously, we all know I’m not.)

Some of the things ambushing me are good excuses, but they’re still excuses. When you want to get healthy, and you’re really serious about it, the excuses have to go.

As for being a total d-bag to myself, I really don’t know when and where this started. But I do realize it’s getting worse, almost like I’m having my own personal roast every single day. This really came to a head the other night. I was at a baseball game and one of my friends said I had to say one nice thing about myself by the end of the night. It took me wayyyyy too long to come up with something. One little thing. A tiny little compliment. And I was stumped! (In the end, I decided I was having a really good hair day, in case anyone was wondering.)

And that’s when I realized that making yourself a priority includes being kind to yourself. How do you expect to feel positive when you’re berating yourself? Or in my case, coming up with harsh insults set to early Nineties R&B songs.

So I’ve decided that my goal for the next month is to prioritize myself and stopping being a jerkface to Kerri. I’m not setting any goals about working out or not eating after a certain time. Instead, I’m keeping it simple. By the end of every day, I have to say at least one nice thing about myself.

Join me in the comments. Offer up one nice thing about yourself. I dare you!

*I am not a doctor. I’d say that’s great because I’m literally not smart enough to be a doctor, but that would conflict with the whole positivity thing I have going on in this post. Hence, always consult your own physician before embarking on any fitness or eating plan.