Category Archives: mermaids

What, Me Procrastinate?

mermaids

OK, I won’t lie. This post snuck up on me. I was already to cozy up with Cardinal Sin by Allison Brennan and a beer, when it hit me that it was my turn to post on Waterworld Mermaids.

I didn’t exactly panic, but my palms did get a bit clammy. Then, the funniest commercial came on. And like a light bulb, the idea of this post clicked above my head.

They say laugher cures your ills, I’m hoping that giving you a few laughs will put you in a forgiving mood. 🙂

Party Rock Anthem – Kia Soul Hamster Commercial

The Force: Volkswagen Commercial

Old Spice Justine Bateman

All State Mayhem Commercial

Bridgestone – Reply All

How Fast Do You Write?

mermaids, Motivation

I’ve been hearing stories in the last year about people who “write a book” in lightning fast times. Three months. Two months. Two weeks. Ten days. Seven days. To which my reaction is always: ?!!??!!

From idea to drafting to revision(s) to completion, the time it takes me to write a book is more easily measured by a unit of years. And before I heard all these stories, I thought this was completely normal. After comparing my process to other writers’, however, I would feel badly. Like something was lacking in my ability as a writer.

My husband assures me that I’ll write faster with practice. Conventional wisdom advises me to write at my own pace. But then, I realized recently, maybe it’s not one or another. Maybe, like most things in writing, the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Over Labor Day weekend, my husband took the kids to his parents’, and I wrote 25,000 words in four days. For me, this was huge. Never had I written such a large amount of words in such a short time before. In addition to a completed rough draft, this “writer’s retreat” gave me something much more valuable – an inkling of how it feels to be one of these lightning-fast writers.

I still have months of hard work remaining before I transform these words into a polished manuscript. One weekend of intense writing isn’t going to change how I write. My pace is my pace. But now, I don’t feel so badly anymore. This weekend showed me that I do have the ability to put words on a page quickly – even if they aren’t the best words in the world.

So, I think the answer is neither to stick your head in the sand, nor is it to wish you could change the way you write. But rather, embrace your own process as a writer, while using other writers’ stories as motivation.

After all, I can’t help the “slow” part of my writing, but maybe I can control the “steady” part. Right?

How fast do you write? What’s the fastest you’ve ever written a book? The slowest? Have you ever compared your process to other writers? How do you deal with feelings of not measuring up?

Why Do I Love Dark?

mermaids, Motivation

Why Do I love Dark? I don’t know…

I have never killed. Murdered or slayed. There are a few swatted flies that have felt the sting of my murderous wrath. But as far as I can recall, I haven’t actually killed. Nor have I had dark, murderous thoughts (about real people), or wanted to meet a real vampire, or run around naked at night with a were-creature. Nope. For the most part I gravitate toward the normal, routine everyday activities most sensible human beings partake in – well, except for my need to obsess about certain television characters (Spike, Joe Dubois, John Crichton, Alec Hardison—and BTW, the first to name the TV shows these characters appear in – will win a prize!).

But let’s get back to my premise. What attracts me to those dark characters, plots, stories? What makes my brain fall in love with a character and then what to drag him or her through the deepest, darkest hell on Earth. I’ve been thinking about that question, and believe I’ve found a partial answer.

A few years back I remember taking a course or reading a book in which the question on the table was…what do you believe in? Answer that question by listing the top 10 ‘things’ that come to mind right away, the instructor said, and you may well find the topics/subject matter that will lie at the heart of your stories…every story that you ever write…because that list reflects your fundamental beliefs.

You know we’ve all heard the line, “write what you know” but this took another spin on that statement for me with — write what you believe…

Here’s my top five from that list:

1)            Ghosts

2)            God

3)            Friendship

4)            Deceit

5)            Sarcasm

I want to know your top five…

But I don’t think my list of five provides that many clues as to why I gravitate toward the dark side of reading and/or writing romance (or does it:).

I will need to explore this topic further but I wanted to get the ball rolling because I’m about to put one of my characters through the ringer (yippee!).

I’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling

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We write romance, right?  Hearwarming, mushy, (maybe) trashy, bittersweet, emotional, but above all, romance.  In my quest to staple my butt to the chair and write, I’ve noticed my productivity resembles one of those shaky rollercoaster rides that was put together by someone of dubuious skill, dexterity and mental capacity.   I sit, I start to write, sometimes it flows and sometimes, someone must have forgotten to turn on the spout.  The next day, I go back over what I wrote and most of the time, I can’t help but think “eewww”.. did I really write that?   The whole process reminded me of beer goggling.  You know what I’m talking about.  That amazingly hot guy from last night’s party who could beat Fabio in his early days?  Well in the harsh light of the morning, he looks more like a recent attendee of a Star Trek convention.

Just like beer goggling, I find myself writing goggling.   With a fresh set of the same eyes, I look over my writing and like many of our sisters have done with the Star Trek guy, I look at what I wrote and think, “Did I really do that?  But it looked so good last night.”

On a similar note, the same can be said for inspiration.   Is it true that the stars  have to align with the right constellation for me to feel and be productive?  Or is this an excuse for not writing?  When do you allow the overwhelming moments of life to interfere and when do you say that enough is enough and you can’t use that as a crutch forever?

So what exactly is my spoke in this wheel this time?  Okay, I’ll spill the beans.  My grandma is sick.  Really sick.  Hospital sick.   Between that, starting a new job, sick kids, new daycare, blah, blah, blah, I’m finding it very hard to feel productive.   And productive that’s emotion related romance is even harder.  Or maybe it’s just me.  Maybe others use those tough times as fodder for creativity.

That’s what I want to know.  If you’re feeling down, gloomy or uninspired, do you work better or worse?

 

F.I.G.J.A.M.

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Hillary Clinton Retired!!!!

Are you surprised to read that?  I was too a few weeks ago when the words splashed across my TV screen as I sat watching a Spanish language news channel with my mother-in-law.  Mi suegra (my mother-in-law) is much more comfortable with her native language so out of respect to her, when she comes to visit, we become a Spanish-speaking household. 

Back to Mrs. Clinton—I couldn’t believe it when I saw the short bit of her giving a speech which had been mostly muted by the news station and the word retiro below her.  When I later found my husband to tell him about the shocking retirement, he—a politico junky—obviously didn’t believe me.  I insisted I’d just seen it plain as day on the news.  I told him in Spanish, “Hillary Clinton retiro!”

He said, “Gueras (blondie—my hubby’s nickname for me), that means she went on vacation.  As in a relaxing retreat.”

“Oh.”  Ooops.  And I consider myself fluent in Spanish. 

Are you like me?  Fascinated by other cultures, hypnotized by different accents?  Are you prone to introducing your American girl-next-door to the ultra-magnetic Aussie, Brit, or Latino?  And when they enter into conversation, have you researched your characters enough so that you are confident they are not saying something their great-great-grandparents might have said back in, oh I don’t know, the really old days? 

And is internet research really enough?  I once wrote about an Aussie who was supposed to be from this century and in a rock band.  I could hear his voice, with all the rhymey things he did to the end of his words, but I wanted the phrases themselves to be authentic.  The online Australian urban slang website I was using to find these terms spit something out at me one day.  It said, Carlene, try “Fair dinkum.”  I don’t know about you, but does a guy who wears his wallet on a chain, Doc Martens, and has a neck tattoo peeking out from his always black t-shirt sound like he’d utter the words, “Fair dinkum, mate.”?

Exactly.  There was only one way to be sure.  Accost the mom on my son’s football team who happened to be from Australia without seeming like a crazy person.

As far as I can tell, living breathing people are my best tools for researching authentic cultural dialogue.   But when there’s no one in your rolodex from Ireland, Jamaica or Brazil, what do you do to ensure you’re getting it right?  Seriously, I need to know!  Please do tell.

And for the readers visiting this blog, do you worry about this when you read a story?  Or do you leave it to the author’s artistic license?  Is it really that important to you?

The first person to leave a comment answering what FIGJAM stands for gets a Mermaid surprise!

You Write What?!?!?!

Kerri Carpenter, mermaids, Motivation,

You know the drill. You’re having a nice conversation over dinner and your companion seems really interested that you’re a writer. He/she is even more impressed that you have finished a novel and are actively trying to publish. And then comes “the” question:

What do you write?

Romance.

The most recent time I told someone this, he literally laughed in my face. Seriously, sound came out of his mouth as he mocked me.

“Romance? Pssst.” (More laughing)

It was as if I said I take a razor blade to newborn puppies. Even though I’m really proud of what I write, I felt so embarrassed. Let’s face it, having someone laugh in your face is never a feel-good kind of moment, no matter how many glasses of wine you’ve consumed.

Leading up to this joyous encounter I had been doing pretty well with the haters. I’ve joined writing groups lately, which seems to have made a big difference in both my writing and my writing life. But my writing group wasn’t sitting at that table with me while someone laughed at my biggest dream.

And I know all the stats. I know how much money the romance industry generates each year. I know that there couldn’t seriously be anything wrong with a genre of fiction that promotes a happy ending. And I definitely know that this laughing person was a total d-bag.

Still, it hurt.

I remembered all the hours I’ve poured into sitting diligently at my computer. All the rejections letters I’ve received. All of the almost-published stories. The time, the energy, the emotions. And here is someone completely discounting all of it because they are, in essence, ignorant.

But, like so many things in life, I knew what to do. I had some more wine, brushed it off and wrote a blog post about it. 😉 Because seriously, you might want to think before you laugh at someone with the power to write.

So, I ask you fellow romance writers: How do you handle the romance haters of the world?

John Cusack, a pen and a phonebooth

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You’ll have to bear with me today. I’m a little silly and punch-drunk due to the grueling time at the PITADJ (pain-in-the-a**-day-job).  it is the busiest time of the year for me and I’m down two out of the four folks on team due to maternity leave – so yeah, I’m a little stressed and a lot tired.

Which leads to the fact that I had no idea what to write about today. Not. A. Clue.  So, I do the one thing I always do when I’m stuck (ignore the Main Man shouting “spend money” in the background) – I watch movies.  And I usually go back to favorites, the tried and true – no, new shockingly disappointing flicks for me – I want one that I know will deliver every time.

So, I had a little movie marathon and lost even more sleep but felt a little more human.  And, I felt a little inspired creatively – which was very good for the writing.

The first flick was ‘Romancing the Stone” ( and , no, we are not going to talk about the possible remake with Katherine Heigl who hasn’t made anything decent since she finished “Roswell”). The movie about a romance novelist Joan Wilder and the guy, Jack, who helps her rescue her kidnapped sister and is constantly upstaged by the amazing Danny DeVito. Awesome movie.

At the end Gloria, Joan’s agent is reading her latest-post-sex-with-Jack novel and is sniffling as she says:

Gloria: Joanie you are now a WORLD CLASS hopeless romantic.

Joan: No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic.

Sigh . . . aren’t we all in this business?

Okay, next on the agenda for my personal film festival was an indie adaptation of the classic Pride & Prejudice. Now, no one beats Colin Firth as Mr.Darcy but Orlando Seale fills the role nicely in this movie. It’s bright, cheerful, offbeat and quirky and set in UTAH. It always makes me smile.

One of the best performances is the gal who plays Lydia – who in this version is a husband-hunter following a how-to guide that has all the single girls taking it for the gospel truth.  In one scene, Lydia is disgusted with Elizabeth and Jane’s moping around after Darcy and Bingley and she lets them have it at the grocery store, saying:

“Oh, this is just great girls. Here we’ve just spent 20 minutes picking out the perfect array of romantic items, and what do we come back to find? Two kegs of ice cream, pills for cramping, pills for bloating, and six super size boxes of Tampax? Why don’t we just put up a big neon sign that says, “Men, run for your lives! Menstruating monsters approaching!”

Brings back lots of college memories . . . .

Finally, I ended with my favorite movie of all time: Say Anything.

Now, this movie spawned a 10-year obsession with John Cusack for me. How could you NOT love Lloyd Dobler? The high school everyman who woos, charms and gets the beautiful valedictorian to fall in love with him – classic romance.

Of course, he gets his heart broken and the scene is gut-wrenching because you want Lloyd to get the girl. If he can’t get the girl then any guy who isn’t Brad Pitt is destined to die alone with lots of cats.

So, you have Lloyd in a phone booth. Its’ pouring rain and he’s called his sister to tell her that Diane, the love of his life, has broken up with him and given him a pen so he can write to her. Harsh.

So, he delivers the best line of the movie and rips your heart out:

“I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.”

Sigh . . . .

I don’t care what you think about the hairdos and parachute pants – the 80’s were a beautiful thing.

So, at the end of all that film goodness, I felt better. Relaxed. And, I had a post to write for you guys.

What are your “go-to” flicks?

Robin Mermaid

Coming Out

mermaids

First, a little character description.

My mom is five-feet, two-inches tall and mostly round. She smiles – a lot. Her nickname is bubbles. She is a stamping fanatic. And she scares me to the bone. Well, not her exactly, but disappointing her.

So when I started writing, I didn’t tell her. I was too scared that if I never finished it or it never was published, that she’d see me as a failure. When Up a Dry Creek developed into a hot, sexy romantic suspense. Well … I decided to never tell her. After all, our birds and the bees conversation consisted of her telling me, “That’s what sex ed is for at school.”

When I got the acceptance call from Evernight Publishing, I did a happy dance. I told my husband, my friends and my arthritic dogs, but not my mom. She called on the phone that night. We chatted about all the regular things, while inside I was in turmoil. Instead of sharing my excitement about being published, I tucked it away like a dirty little secret. And like all secrets, it  hurt to keep.

Every time we spoke, my lie of omission nudged at me. It whispered mean words into my subconscious about the validity of writing spicy romance. Worst of all, it created a distance between my mother and I.

Then, I was lucky enough to go to the Washington Romance Writers retreat. I spent an entire weekend with more than 100 writers. We talked about the process of writing and publishing. We took classes about character development. We drank wine and imagined an M/M/M erotic romance based on the Three Musketeers.

I was free. For the first time in months, my secret didn’t make me feel less than. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized why – because keeping that secret from my mom took a lot of energy and made me feel bad about myself.

So that day I dialed my mom’s number with sweaty palms and a nervous stomach. When I told her that I’d written Up a Dry Creek and that it would be published, she cried. Not because she was upset, but because she was so proud of me.

Yep, proud.

I’m tearing up typing this because there really isn’t a better feeling in the world that making your mom proud – even when you’re a mom yourself.

Hurricane Irene–Foe or Friend

mermaids, Uncategorized

Many of us are on the alert today about the incoming Hurricane Irene along the east coast of the United States.  She looks like she can be a doozie so please, heed all warnings posted by the authorities in your area, keep track of the weather stations and The Weather Channel and stay safe.  I need all my friends out there for inspiration, motivation and just to be there–always!

Here are a few things you will want to be aware of if you aren’t already prepared:

  • Water, non-perishable foods, batteries for flashlights/radio, candles, matches/lighters too.
  • A full tank of gas in your vehicle (no electricity–no gas pumps) same with ATM’s–get cash out now.
  • Pets–make sure you have 3 days supply of food/water, any meds–baggies for dogs/litter and litter box for cat, carriers and leashes, tags and papers for shots/etc.
  • Have a copy of your homeowners/renters insurance for possible damage after storm.
  • Also, have your safe/family documents in a safe place.
  • Don’t forget to stow/tie down items in your yard that could cause a hazard in high winds.
  • Writers–don’t forget to back up all of your files of your WIP’s and important research files to something portable.  Keep it on you if possible or in a safe place.
  • Remember during emergency situations–try to stay off your phones as lines (even cell lines) will get bogged down.  Use only for emergencies or make the calls quick (just to let family know you are okay).
  • Oh, and just for the heck of it (or the need) don’t forget the box of chocolates–the good kind you’ve been craving but didn’t think you needed them–this is the time for them. 🙂

If I’ve forgotten anything, please feel free to post as a comment. But these are the ‘foe’ issues I associate with the incoming storm.

Now for the ‘friendly’ issues–if you can see them as such:

Hurricane Irene gives us the potential to take a breath from our harried days perhaps.  For some at least, unless you are emergency responders and to you–I give you all the love in the world–you are the true heroes!  But if we can step back and look at this situation in a different light–it may just be kind of neat:

  • No electricity?  Candle light time.  Get out the family board games, a few non-perishable snack items and sit around the dining room table and have some quality family time.
  • Been wanting to get to your ‘to read pile’?  What better time?  No electricity–hold up at home–snuggle under a blanket and start the next one in the pile.
  • No computer?  Get out the old spiral notebook–start that next best seller.  You have the ‘dark and stormy night’ already to go. 🙂
  • Sit and catch up on quality time.  Find out how DH has been doing lately.  (Rekindle the flame that the hustle and bustle of keeping up with technology and time has taken you away from.)  Re-connect with your kids–what better time to stop for a cuddle and make memories they will be able to tell their kids.

What are some of your ideas to do during a “dark and stormy night”?

Stay safe and hugs to all !