All posts by Alethea

Lazy Mermaid…Lazy Writing

Alethea MermaidSo…I have this HUGE issue with lazy writing.

It is so annoying to me when an author works to set up a convoluted setting or plot line at the beginning of his or her story, and then instead of following the thread logically through to the end, makes up something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and solves the problem with that instead.

Anton Chekhov said: “If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”

His comment was more about including extraneous information. From my perspective, it should also apply the other way around…if you include the gun. USE THE GUN. Don’t have the murder victim hanged in the end for no good reason.

There’s a book that’s a PERFECT example of this that I use to illustrate such lazy writing when I’m at conferences. I won’t name names here…but suffice it to say, it was a romance about a shapeshifter in love with a rich mogul. The shapshifter is invited to her new boyfriend’s private island, where his maid has picked out a swimsuit for our heroine, sight unseen. The suit is a size six and fits like a glove.

I threw the book across the room and never picked it up again. (Except to donate it to Goodwill.)

It stretches believability enough that a woman could pick out a bathing suit for another woman…I have enough trouble picking out my OWN swimsuits, thank you very much. But the author (and her editor) missed a FABULOUS opportunity: If your main character is a shapeshifter, it would be a much more fun (and sympathetic) scene if the bathing suit was horrible…and the woman shifted herself so that it fit perfectly.

If that had happened, I would have loved this author forever! Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

In my course of doing the Fairy Tale Rant series on YouTube, I’ve begin to realize that some of these “lazy storytelling” problems have been with us since the time of fairy tales.

Below is one such example of lazy writing…or at least, I think so. I have a friend who disagrees. What do you think? How would YOU have ended this one?

(PS: The reason I titled this post “lazy mermaid” is because I MEANT to do a mermaid movie review, but I didn’t write it up last night like I was supposed to. So expect that to drop in some other time this month…xox Alethea)

Life After the Six-Fingered Man

Inigo Montoya: Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.

Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You’d make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

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The goal of every aspiring writer is to be published.

Maybe that publication comes in the form of a review, an op-ed, an article, a short story, or–*gasp*–even a NOVEL. Hooray! You’ve finally published a novel!

Now what do you do with your life?

Welcome to the Inigo Montoya Dilemma. In The Princess Bride, Inigo dedicated his life to hunting down the six-fingered man who killed his father. After the six-fingered man was dead (spoilers!), Inigo found himself at a loss as to what to do next.

I think every one of us feels that moment in life–after college, after children,  after the marathon, what have you. Writers especially are keenly aware of this. They publish the novel, and then have to create a new benchmark, a new personal goal that motivates them to keep moving forward.

Otherwise, why would we keep writing?

Some of the benchmarks are obvious: Hit the USA bestseller list. Hit #1 on the NYT bestseller list. Win a [award of your choice] Award.

Some of the benchmarks are more personal: Be invited into an anthology by your favorite editor. Have a cover designed by your favorite artist. Have lunch with one of your literary heroes.

I was talking about this mental list I constantly have running in my head to one of the Mermaids and thought: Why not write that down and share it? Why not see what others would include as *their* benchmarks?

So that’s the game, today. I’ll start, and you guys include your picks in the comments. Ready?

Earn out your advance
Write a sequel
Hit the NYT bestseller list
Hit #1 on the NYT bestseller list
See your book in a bookstore
Spot a stranger reading your book in a public location
Chat–as a peer–with one of your literary heroes
Sell a book based only on a pitch
Publish a book outside your original genre
Qualify for Active membership in a national writers organization
Win a major award
Get fan mail
Have a fan bring you presents to a book signing
Have a fan cry with joy at meeting you
Get invited to be Guest of Honor at a convention/conference
Give a keynote speech
Give a TED talk

Okay…now it’s your turn! What else would you add to this list?

Mermaids & Friends: Sandra Tayler

Today, the Mermaid Lagoon is proud to host the fabulous Sandra Tayler!

I had the honor of being a backer of Sandra’s Kickstarter campaign for her second picture book, The Strength of Wild Horses. I asked Sandra if she might stop by and share a little bit about her experiences, both as a writer of books for headstrong young girls, and as the proud owner of a successfully funded Kickstarter campaign.

Take it away, Sandra!

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* What inspired you to write picture books?

My daughter was in the middle of a particularly difficult kindergarten year. It was the kind of year that has visits to the principals office and lots of conferences with teachers. Through it I watched my daughter start coming to the conclusion that she was a bad person because she was always in trouble. I knew she needed a story that let her see that ideas are separate from ourselves and that they can be steered in good ways or bad. I couldn’t find that story, so I wrote Hold on to Your Horses. My latest book The Strength of Wild Horses elaborates on the ideas and characters in the first story.

* What age group are your books for? Who is your target audience?

I think the sweet spot for enjoying these picture books is children ages 4-8 and their parents, but I’ve heard of much younger people enjoying them and much older people too. They’re for anyone who is bursting with creative ideas.

Sandra Tayler's HORSES series

* Tell us a little bit about Amy and the importance of horses!

Strength of Wild Horses begins with the line “Amy was a girl with ideas like wild horses” and I think that really summarizes her well. She is bursting with energy and creativity. Those things combine in ways that get her into a lot of trouble, but by imagining her ideas as horses, Amy learns that she can steer them. Then in Strength of Wild Horses she sees that creative ideas can rescue other people.

* Be honest, how scary was it to launch a Kickstarter?

Terrifying. I did not want to do it. Hold on to Your Horses came out before Kickstarter existed and I kind of wanted to do the same thing again, but it meant coming up with all the money for printing ourselves. I’d have done that if I had to, but there is real power in Kickstarter. I’d seen how it works and I knew that the best promotional push I could give Strength of Wild Horses was to run a Kickstarter project to fund it. I’m so glad I did. Setting it up and running it was lots of work, but I was overwhelmed by the kindness of my backers and friends. They really came out to support the book and show me I was creating something that others cared about as well as me.

* How did you feel once you hit that goal? Was the pressure better or worse?

My project was timed a little bit strangely. The last week of the funding drive began on Thanksgiving weekend, which is not an ideal time to run an internet promotion. People are off with their families or shopping. We hit the funding goal on the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend with five days to go. With so few days left, I knew we weren’t likely to hit the sort of stretch goal that would fund a second book, which left me with small stretch goals that weren’t particularly compelling. It felt like the pressure was off. The world was distracted by the holidays and the Kickstarter didn’t get a huge rush at the end as many projects do. I was just really glad I’d get to do the book.

* How did you find your illustrator?

When I was seeking an artist for the first book, we put out the word to my husband’s readers. He does a daily webcomic and has pretty good internet reach. Angela’s husband saw the call and encouraged Angela to submit. I’m so happy she did. Her art is perfect for these stories and truly beautiful.

* Will The Strength of Wild Horses be made available to non-Kickstarter folks?

Yes. It’s available now through our online store
Or through Amazon.com

* What’s next for you?

I’m working on some books of essays, and a middle-grade novel. After that there are at least two more picture books pinging around in my brain. You can keep up with all my thoughts an work by following my blog One Cobble at a Time, or by signing up for my mailing list!

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Sandra Tayler began writing her first story at the age of 6. It wasn’t a good story, but she loved it. She continued to love writing stories all the way through high school despite scattered encouragements and discouragements along the way. At the age of 20 Sandra met and married Howard Tayler who at that time was a musician. Together they had 4 children, 2 houses, and one failed record production business. Somewhere along the line Howard realized that he really wanted to be a cartoonist and Sandra realized that she wanted to start writing again. Now Sandra spends her time as the distribution half of the Schlock Mercenary comic business, a mother of four kids, and in the spaces between everything else she writes. Her other work can be found at http://sandra.tayler.com.

May Day, Play Day

I welcome you this first of May
A day for work, when work is play
The storms of April passed on through
I’m thrilled that I survived…are you?

*giggle*
Yes, I did just write that poem while I was sitting here. Silly, I know. But it’s something I created that didn’t exist before, however small. And that counts for something.

Poetry was my first love as a young writer (when I say “young”, I mean “eight years old”). Anything could be a poem. There were no rules. Or, rather, there were rules, but only if you wanted them.

April is (was) National Poetry Month — on my blog every day for the entire month of April I posted one of my favorite poems, aong with a story about how I loved it and what it meant to me. Some of the poems were written by women, some by men, some by me. Some were short, some were long. Some had better background stories or illustrations.

More than a few were from Ogden Nash, because he’s my favorite.

There’s just something about poetry that transcends. Poetry runs the spectrum from children’s books to greeting cards to Shakespeare. There is, quite literally, something for everyone.

I don’t think poetry should end when April does. We should always find room for little ditties in our lives.

Tell me: Do you have a favorite poet or a favorite poem?

Bonus challenge: Quick! Write something fun!

xox

Pardon Me, Have You Seen My Mind?

Alethea MermaidGrace Under Pressure.

I wish this is how I could describe myself. But my parents named me “Truth” — “Grace” is my cousin. (Technically I have a couple of cousins named Grace, one of whom worked on the Hubble Space Telescope.)

The “Pressure” part, though? Shoot. I’ve got that down pat.

i was that kid who did all her school work at the last minute, even though my parents offered to help me do anything I needed. I was the author who promised to write a book in four months when the first one took me five years. I was the nerd who ran the light board and memorized everyone’s part in the play, qualifying me to understudy for anyone at the drop of a hat.

Even now, looking back, I’m not entirely sure I could chalk all that up to laziness or procrastination. Yes, I put things off…but in doing so I turned that last minute into a powder keg. That fire under my butt forced me to come up with new, fresh ideas in a short amount of time and execute them to the best of my abilities. Some of the results were pretty amazing, too.

I would have totally rocked on a Reality Show.

The up side to all of this? I am incredibly flexible and open-minded, and I am enthusiastic (aka: “stupid”) enough to say Yes to just about anything.

The down side to all of this? Anxiety. Oh my GOSH, the anxiety.

It fuels me…but it sometimes makes me feel like I’ve lost my ever-loving mind. I even have all sorts of fun anxiety dreams to go with this pressure…only they happen after the event is over. Hey, if I can keep it together when I need it, I’ll take it.

It’s also amazing to see what happens when I’m on what I call “Manic Autopilot.” A perfect example happened this past Monday: I was in the middle of packing up my apartment to move to Florida. I was getting phone calls from my mom to discuss new options for places to rent, and phone calls from my agent to discuss brainstorming new story ideas with a new publisher. It was all GREAT AND GOOD STUFF, but it was all happening at once.

Oh, and did I mention that we’re leaving for Niagara Falls on Thursday? Yeah, that too.

In the middle of all of that an email came through, and I misread it. Manic Autopilot took over and I wrote an essay, posted it to this blog, and shared it on social media all in what felt like 3.5 minutes. I dusted off my hands, made some coffee, and moved on to the next thing.

Only…the email wasn’t about posting a blog. The Mermaids don’t even POST on Mondays anymore. *sigh* At least I wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes…I was just performing on an empty stage.

Part of me thinks it’s hilarious that my default stress reaction is to do MORE work. Part of me wonders if I should be worried about this.

What about you? Do you guys have any interesting reactions to stress or anxiety?

Star of the Really Small Screen

Princess Alethea Rants "The Giant & The Tailor"Good morning, everyone!

I have a new Fairy Tale Rant up on Youtube this morning. Check it out! http://youtu.be/fwqmrUjlRLoEpisode 27: In Which Princess Alethea Rants about the Grimms’ fairy tale “The Giant & The Tailor” (2:58)

Can you believe I’m on Episode 27 already? How time flies…

Back in February, I talked here about some of the basics of vlogging I learned by trial and error. Vlogging really lends itself well to “learning by doing.” As you learn and grow on your vlog, your audience learns and grows with you.

I’ve also learned about new opportunities in vlogging…I mean, if you have the skills, use them, right?

Instagram now has a way for you to post a video instead of just pictures…I think this was a response to the Vine program (which I’m not familiar with, but I do know Instagram!). I tried this out on the day of World Book Night, since it was a lovely day outside and I was already dressed like a princess. I just said something like, “Happy World Book Night, and happy birthday Shakespeare!” — that 10 second video then got posted to Instagram, Tumblr, and Facebook…where it was seen by all my friends & fans, and then was shared by the World Book Night folks.

Score one for exposure!

There’s also a new platform called Patreon — a new way for folks to become Patrons of the Arts. I’m still diving into it, but you can put up *something* every *however often*, like a piece of art or a song or a video or a podcast. People then pledge (like PBS!) to donate $X for each *something* that you do.

Here’s the link to may latest video on Patreon if you want to check out the platform: http://www.patreon.com/creation?hid=406789&rf=83064

So far, I only have one patron donating $1 per video…but we all have to start somewhere. And if eventually I can get a little Flip camera to help film my videos in different locations (and on something sturdier like A TRIPOD), then hooray! For now, it’s just another place I’m seeding myself to be discovered.

Do you guys play around with different social media? I just love to experiment to see how I can work them into what I’ve already got going. I know of places like Reddit and StumbledUpon, but I’m not as familiar with how they work. Anyone have any insight on those?

Much love to you all — have a great day! xox

Alethea Mermaid

 

 

The Lost Art of…Lost Arts

Alethea MermaidLike many a work of prose, this blog post was born from the merging of two entirely separate ideas.

Idea Number One: I often joke to friends about certain “Lost Arts” of the twenty-first century — habits that are fading out of existence that wouldn’t normally cross the mind of anyone over the age of 25. A few examples:

Handwriting
Journaling
Introducing oneself in person
Politely answering a house phone without caller-ID
Backing up in a car without a rearview camera
Nursery Rhymes

Idea Number Two: Researching is a fabulous rabbit hole. A writer can google “bird wing anatomy” and find herself hours later researching Native American snake myths. (Not that I’ve done this before…ahem…) A few times I have been temped to blog about my researching adventures, and the myriad of things I’ve discovered in my virtual travels.

So in researching what other folks might consider “Lost Arts”, I stumbled upon a few things I hadn’t considered.

The Lost Art of Handpainted Movie Billboards — there is an octogenarian artist in Greece keeping this alive.

The Lost Art of the Unsent Angry Letter — Therapists recommend it, even Abraham Lincoln utilized this practice to keep himself calm. In today’s world of social media, it’s often In Brain, Out Fingers.

The Lost Art of Pickpocketing — Because, really…that’s just too much hard work.

The Lost Art of Quitting — It’s actually okay to let go of the things that don’t matter. Sometimes your pride is just bullshit.

The Lost Art of Sacred Art — No one has time to be Michelangelo or Fra Angelico anymore, leading to Churches of Ambiguity.

The Lost Art of the Baseball Signature — Famous players just don’t have time to sign legibly. (See also: Handwriting)

The Lost Art of Doing One Thing At a Time — Self-explanatory. And I kind of love it.

What are some “lost arts” you’ve noticed in your every day life? Anything in particular  you think might be going extinct in the next few decades?

Mermaids & Friends: Leah Cypess

Good morning, everyone — Alethea Mermaid here, wishing a happy book release week to fellow author Leah Cypess! Her young adult fantasy DEATH SWORN released this Tuesday, March 4th. It’s a gorgeous book…congrats, Leah!

I asked Leah to join us in the lagoon today to talk about three favorite reads. And not just any reads…her favorite WRITING reads. Take it away, Leah!

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Leah Cypess, AuthorI’m going to combine the “three favorite reads” with “three things every writer should know” and give you a list of “three favorite writing advice books.” Is that cheating? As I’m writing this, I don’t know, but if the post is up, I guess it’s not. Either that, or I bribed someone to put it up anyhow.

I read lots of writing books, and most of them have nuggets of wisdom, inspiration, or thoughts to ponder; there are few that aren’t worth reading. But these are my favorites – the ones that, after reading my library copy, I bought so that I could have them on hand and keep them as references. Here are my top three and the reasons they’re on my bookshelf:

How To Write Killer Fiction by Carolyn Wheat. Although most useful for mystery and thriller writers, this book has advice on structure and clean writing that would be useful to any writer. It also has a detailed “Four-Arc System for Organizing Your Novel” — which is the closest thing to an outline I’ve ever made use of. Although I am incapable of strictly following an outline, I use this one to help me figure out what’s wrong when my story starts to feel muddled.

The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi. Here are things my characters do on every other page of my first drafts: lean against walls, stare at each other coldly, and smile menacingly. I’m sure your characters have a few tics of their own (narrowed eyes? holding breath? glaring?) So when your editor says to cut out “cold stares” and you have 66 of them, what do you do? Sometimes I watch tv scenes with the emotions I want to show and write down every character gesture and tic I see. And sometimes I open The Emotion Thesaurus, which has an emotion at the top of each page (from “adoration” to “worry”) and a list of facial expressions and gestures associated with that emotion.

The 10% Solution by Ken Rand. This is a really short, concise, hands-on book about how to tighten your writing. I read it about a year ago and am both (a) glad that I read it before Death Sworn was finished, and (b) chagrined that I hadn’t read it before I wrote my first two books!

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Bio: Leah Cypess used to be an attorney living in New York City, and is now a writer living in Boston. She much prefers her current situation. When she is not writing or chasing her kids around (or doing both simultaneously), she is usually… well, let’s be honest; sleeping. But in her rare moments of spare time, she enjoys reading, biking, hiking, and drawing.

Visit Leah at her website: http://www.leahcypess.com/

And be sure to check out her fabulous new title, DEATH SWORN.

Death Sworn, by Leah Cypess

 

The Harsh Light of Day

I seem to be having a problem with reality.

Mom and I just finished watching Austenland, an exceptionally cute romantic comedy that is Every Austenite’s Wish-Fulfillment Fantasy. Not surprisingly, one of the major themes of this flick is wondering just how thin that line is between fantasy and reality.

I read fantasy. I write fantasy. I’ve been a princess and a pirate and a pig-keep and a lady knight. I’ve been a sorceress and a scullery maid. I live the adventure, revel in the romance…and then I finish the chapter and either shut the laptop or close the book. I feel like I have a fairly good handle on What Fantasy Is.

Reality is a bit of a puzzle for me, though.

And don’t even get me started on “Reality” television.

What is reality? Is it paying bills and mowing the lawn and collecting receipts for taxes? Is it the stubbed toes and the tears and the extra fifty pounds? Does “reality” always have to focus on the bad things? Because I know there are happy things too. I know what it is to look into the eyes of a friend you haven’t seen in far too long. I know what it’s like to come home to a house full of a family that couldn’t wait to see you. (Granted, this only ever happened to me once, but it happened.) I know what it’s like to kiss someone you have lost your heart and soul to completely. And sure…that person may eventually be the wrong person, but inside that bubble of a moment life is blissful perfection.

So why is it that when we read that last sentence, when we write “The End”, when the credits roll, that reality seems like such a slap in the face? If our lives are what we make of them, then why does the coming-up-for-air portion feel like such a heartbreak?

Or is it just me? Have I spent too much time writing again today?

When Mom and I finished the movie, we put away what was left of dinner, did the dishes, threw in another load of laundry, and then I came in here to bare my soul and ask the world what my problem was.

What do *you* do when Coming Back to “Reality” seems too harsh for you?

The Princess and the Vlog

Snow White Fairy Tale RantYesterday marks the release of the 17th Episode of my Fairy Tale Rants Vlog (Video Blog) on YouTube.

17 episodes…in US time, that could be an entire season of a TV show. (In UK time, it could be two seasons.) It feels like I’ve been doing this forever, and it feels like I just started yesterday. No, I’m not Viralnova Internet Famous yet, but it’s only a matter of time for these things. As they say, the key is Content, Content, Content. Post regular content on a regular basis, and the fans will find you.

I guess we’ll see, right? I’ll be sure to let you all know when exactly that happens. 🙂

In the meantime, I thought I’d share with you some things that I’ve learned about my video blogging experience.

Camera and Microphone: Let’s be honest, I don’t have a huge budget. But I do have a Powerbook with a pretty fabulous webcam and decent microphone, so I use what I’ve got. TIPS: If you project, like me, it’s best to go in to iMovie (or your preferred editing software) before you edit and adjust the volume down so you’re not blasting away your audience. I’ve also learned to make sure that the camera is on a steady surface–the auto-stabilization option in YouTube won’t quite do what you want it to do. The most flattering angle is the selfie angle–high up, looking down on your face. But be careful the audience isn’t looking down your SHIRT.

Lights: Lighting is pretty darned important. I’ve found that the best angle is when I’m facing a daylit window, but the webcam is facing me. Not too sunny, or I get washed out–but with the blinds drawn it gives a nice, even light. Filming at night is the toughest–I just haven’t found a good combination of ceiling lights/floor lamps that don’t cast all kinds of creepy shadows.

EScreen shot 2013-11-05 at 3.31.39 PM.pngditing: I use iMovie, which is pretty user friendly…and if you have any questions, just Google them! There is a YouTube tutorial for EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY NEED. The more editing you do, the more you learn. I added a ton to my bag of tricks by putting together my own audiobook trailer just for giggles…I highly recommend it.

Check out some popular video blogs (like John Green’s Mental Floss, or the very fun Lizzie Bennet Diaries) and you’ll see that the most engaging style involves not just choppy jump cuts, but anticipated jump cuts, where the subject of the vlog appears all over the screen…as if he’s having a dialogue between his Smeagol/Gollum self. You may think it sounds nuts, but give some of them a watch and you’ll see. Don’t leave extraneous pauses in your video, even if they’re half a second long. Those half-seconds add up.

Timing: Try to keep your videos to about five minutes or less. Like JK Rowling, the more popular you become, the longer your vlog posts can get, but your audience most appreciates the bite-sized snack version…and it encourages them to click or subscribe for more.

Consistency: It’s okay to miss a week. No one’s going to kill you. But don’t make it a regular thing. I’ve missed two out of the last 19 weeks…one was right at the beginning and one was in the wake of a funeral, for which I asked my viewers to please forgive me. What this means: You will begin to realize that as much as you might want to be in full makeup and costume, it doesn’t always happen. It’s about CONTENT, remember? I’ve done rants without costumes and I even did a rant with no makeup on (yeeeeeah). But you know what? That no-makeup vlog entry is one of the ones with the most hits.

Be Expressive: What I learned while doing podcasts was not to be afraid of my own voice–to go over the top when assuming character voices. What I’ve learned while vlogging is not to be afraid of my own face. It’s true: the more I act like a complete Muppet, the more entertaining the vlog is to watch. So get into what you’re saying, feel the passion, get expressive. And enjoy it! Because your fans can tell.

The Many Faces of Alethea

With that, I urge you all to please check out Episode 17: “Princess Alethea Rants About Rapunzel” if you haven’t yet and let me know what you think.

And if you like it, please share! xox