Category Archives: Kerri Carpenter

What Plantar Fasciitis is Teaching Me about Writing

Kerri Carpenter, Motivation, Writing

I have plantar fasciitis, a condition in my foot that is extremely painful. It’s an inflammation of the plantar fascia (a band of tissue) that runs underneath your foot and basically feels like someone is stabbing you repeatedly with a really hot machete. A lot of people have this condition, especially runners.

My usual way of dealing with health issues involves a lot of crying, whining and then ignoring the problem altogether. However, when I trip getting out of bed because my damn foot is so sore, even I have to admit it’s time to deal.

Interestingly, I’m finding I have similar stubbornness where my writing is concerned. What’s that? My first pass at a manuscript is NOT perfect as is? It won’t win any awards? WHAT! Break out the crying, whining and procrastination. Luckily, I have figured out some ways to deal with both my foot issue and manuscript woes. Continue reading →

Favorite Holiday Movies

Kerri Carpenter, mermaids, ,

I find it tough to be a writer during the holidays. With the shopping and the baking, festive movies and parties, writing time can take a serious backseat. So this year, I figure I’ll just go with it – there is nothing wrong with enjoying the season. Without further ado, here is a list of some of my favorite Christmas movies.  

1.   A Christmas Story

Nothing makes me laugh like this movie. It’s not only a favorite holiday movie, it’s an all-time favorite. There are so many quotable lines I could seriously write a whole thesis on this film. (And I know you’re all saying, “You’ll shoot your eye out,” right now. Admit it!) Whoever decided to play it nonstop for 24 hours on Christmas day was a genius!

2.  How the Grinch Stole Christmas

I’m talking about the cartoon, not the one with real people. What’s not to like about this movie? It’s short, it’s sweet and it makes my heart grow three sizes too big as well.

3.  Holiday Inn

I remember the first time my parents showed me this movie. I quickly got over my aversion to black & white because it’s so fantabulous! Plus, my mom and I like to guess what color all of the gorgeous costumes are.

4.  White Christmas

I find myself very drawn to White Christmas. The dance scenes are amazing and I would kill to be as thin as Vera Ellen.   And I love when Bing Crosby says, “what’s the beef” and how the train looks all clean and fun. Those were different times.

5.  Elf

Elf is so funny! But I think my favorite thing about it is how committed Will Ferrell is to the role of Buddy the Elf. He believes he’s Buddy and so do I. “Santa!!!!!!! I know him, I know him!”

As a self-appointed Christmas movie aficionado, there are many, many more movies I could have listed (Bill Murray’s Scrooged, Miracle on 34th Street). But I just wanted to give you the basic idea. No matter what you like watching this time of year, I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a fabulous New Years!

What is your favorite holiday movie?

 

 

Memory Garden (Part Two) by Kerri Carpenter

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(Mermaid Note: If you haven’t already, please read Memory Garden (Part One) first.)

Drew watched as all the color drained from Lilah’s face.  Damn, he didn’t want to hurt her again.  She started to walk away but he grabbed her arm and spun her to him.

“No, you have to listen to me.”

“I don’t have to listen to anything.  Let go of me.”

He dropped his hand immediately and watched her storm out a set of side doors.  He ran a hand over his face.  This wasn’t going how he had hoped at all.

And couldn’t she have looked a little less gorgeous for this?

Continue reading →

Memory Garden (Part One) by Kerri Carpenter

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“This one here.  Is this a lily of the valley?”

“Um…” Lilah stuttered, praying for some flower enthusiast to spontaneously walk by.  “Well, actually, I think it’s quite lovely.  It looks so fresh and happy there, doesn’t it?” she attempted lamely.

Chrissy pinned her with a dubious stare before rolling her blue eyes.  “Whatever.  I don’t really care what it’s called but I want this flower in my bouquet.  Make a note,” she commanded.

Lilah suppressed an urge to make a note about possible hit men in the Washington, D.C. area.  Instead, she took a picture of the flower in question with her phone and made a corresponding note.  Flowers really weren’t her thing.  She knew dandelions, roses and, well, dead, since that’s how all living plants ended up in her apartment.

Chrissy let out an annoyed whine before moving on.  The one good thing about Lilah’s current bridezilla, er client, was that her attention changed every second.  “Where’s Perry?  I mean, ohmigod, we have so much to do.”

“I believe your fiancé said he was meeting his best man out front and would be back in a couple of minutes,” Lilah supplied.

“But that was like ten minutes ago.  Doesn’t he realize how busy I am?  I mean, I have like a million things to do today.”

None of which involve a real job, school or anything remotely adult, Lilah thought with a silent sigh.  She did suppose that swiping daddy’s credit card took some energy.  At least at the rate Chrissy used it.

Continue reading →

You Write What?!?!?!

Kerri Carpenter, mermaids, Motivation,

You know the drill. You’re having a nice conversation over dinner and your companion seems really interested that you’re a writer. He/she is even more impressed that you have finished a novel and are actively trying to publish. And then comes “the” question:

What do you write?

Romance.

The most recent time I told someone this, he literally laughed in my face. Seriously, sound came out of his mouth as he mocked me.

“Romance? Pssst.” (More laughing)

It was as if I said I take a razor blade to newborn puppies. Even though I’m really proud of what I write, I felt so embarrassed. Let’s face it, having someone laugh in your face is never a feel-good kind of moment, no matter how many glasses of wine you’ve consumed.

Leading up to this joyous encounter I had been doing pretty well with the haters. I’ve joined writing groups lately, which seems to have made a big difference in both my writing and my writing life. But my writing group wasn’t sitting at that table with me while someone laughed at my biggest dream.

And I know all the stats. I know how much money the romance industry generates each year. I know that there couldn’t seriously be anything wrong with a genre of fiction that promotes a happy ending. And I definitely know that this laughing person was a total d-bag.

Still, it hurt.

I remembered all the hours I’ve poured into sitting diligently at my computer. All the rejections letters I’ve received. All of the almost-published stories. The time, the energy, the emotions. And here is someone completely discounting all of it because they are, in essence, ignorant.

But, like so many things in life, I knew what to do. I had some more wine, brushed it off and wrote a blog post about it. 😉 Because seriously, you might want to think before you laugh at someone with the power to write.

So, I ask you fellow romance writers: How do you handle the romance haters of the world?

Job of Hotness

Kerri Carpenter, mermaids, Motivation, ,

Can I get a Navy Seal over here to sweep me off my feet, while both protecting me and respecting my individuality as an independent woman? 

Where’s that totally ripped construction guy, who besides being able to swing heavy power tools, remains sensitive and in-touch with his emotions?

Let’s not forget about that super intellectual professor-turned-writer who happens to make geeky sweater vests seem uber-sexy.

I’ve been reading romance novels for awhile now and I think I’ve encountered just about every career path possible for the hero. Cowboy, prince, entrepreneur, teacher, chef, bounty hunter, landscape architect – they all have one thing in common: Hotness!

While I do have my favorites (FBI secret agent, veterinarian and just plain old, inexplicable super rich guy, to name a few), I have to admit that it might be more than just the profession. It’s the description. After all, you can have a bartender, or you can have a smokin’ hot Irish bartender with jet black hair and intense green eyes.

Oh yes, there’s a big difference between the guy who changes your tires and the insanely gorgeous yet wounded mechanic whose muscles are pulsating under his tight white work shirt while he gives you the once-over.

And I’ve never come across a lawyer in my real life who is anything like the toned and suave attorney who can both schmooze at the country club and take down the bad guy with his killer tai kwon do moves, all the while preserving his impeccably-fitted tuxedo.

So I ask all of you, what is your favorite romance hero career? And feel free to get descriptive!

#amwriting Word Metrics
Project: Contemporary romance
Deadline: August 31st (#amcrazyperson)
New Words Written: Not enough
Present Total Word Count: 37,552

Ain’t Nobody Gonna Mess With My Nora Roberts!

Kerri Carpenter, mermaids, , ,

The Setting: A Barnes & Noble in Southwestern Pennsylvania
The Characters (emphasis on characters): Me, My Mom & My Dad Driving the Getaway Car 

I attended my first RWA Nationals this past June in New York City. Many, many things stood out to me but one thing that really caught my attention was the use of Nora Roberts. Nora was mentioned in almost every workshop I attended. People brought her name up at lunches and dinners. She was quoted left and right.

Annoying? Hardly. I know you all say you’re Nora’s biggest fan. But you are not. I hold that title and here is why.

About seven years ago, I was visiting my Mom and Dad in Pennsylvania. As with most visits to my parents’, we ended the night at a Barnes & Noble. If we’re in a Barnes & Noble, my Mom and I are in the romance section. And if we’re in the romance section, you know we’re checking the Nora Roberts section within the romance section … on the off-chance we haven’t read every title.

We have.

What should we find on this particular night? The Nora books were NOT in order. They weren’t even alphabetical. No, they were just sitting there all willy-nilly. Trilogies weren’t shelved together. The Stanislaski’s were miles apart. The O’Hurley Triplets were practically in different zip codes. And do not even get me started on how Cameron, Ethan and Phillip Quinn from the Chesapeake Bay series were placed between various single titles.

For two people who discuss Nora characters more often than some of our relatives, this is NOT okay. In fact, I dare say it was disrespectful.

So we did what any fan of Nora would do. We took every book off the shelf and re-shelved the entire section the way we felt it should have been. The way a reader needs to experience Nora.

Now don’t get your panties in a bunch. We did mankind a favor. Just think of the poor virgin Nora reader who could have possibly gone into that store and picked up Amanda Calhoun’s book and read it before knowing what happened in her sister C.C.’s book. What the hell kind of world is that? Certainly not one that I want to live in.

Of course, halfway through this little escapade my Mom and I looked at each other and just lost it. That’s right, in case the massive mounds of books all over the floor weren’t telling enough, my Mother and I were cackling like crazy people (or “laughing like loons” as Nora always says) in the middle of Barnes & Noble while my poor Dad just rolled his eyes and went on to buy a Venti Caramel Macchiato from the in-store Starbucks and pretended not to know us.

So take that supposed fans of Nora. While I may never be a speaker at RWA Nationals, I feel better having shared my story with you.

And yes, I fully intend to smile pretty when the cops show up with my restraining order about two hours after I post this. Viva la Nora!

Make a Wish

Kerri Carpenter, mermaids, Motivation, ,

Today is my birthday. Those wishing to send me elaborate gifts, let me know and I will provide my address. 😉

Every year on my birthday, my BFF writes some variation of the following phrase in my card: This is going to be the best year ever!

Outwardly I roll my eyes, but secretly, I love reading that. It’s more than just a sweet sentiment. It’s reassuring, in a very uneasy time in my life.

The past year has been a big writing year for me. No, I didn’t get published or bag an agent. I didn’t even win any contests. Hell, I didn’t even enter any. But I found something more important. My writing mojo. It was gone for awhile but I just feel so assured that I’m on the right path now.

So this birthday I’ve decided to take my BFF’s advice and have the best year ever. More specifically, I’m going to have the best writing year. Butt in the chair, hands poised on the keyboard, these stories are getting out. And I am going to love every painstaking minute of it. That is my wish.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to my favorite place to celebrate my birthday. At the beach with my family, my BFF and a good book.

While I’m getting my birthday tan on, I ask all of you: What do you wish for this year?

Happy Fourth of July!!!

Kerri Carpenter, mermaids, Motivation, , , , , ,

July 4th is my favorite holiday. I could watch fireworks on a nightly basis. Perhaps my love of glitter and sparkles has something to do with it.

Happy July 4th!

Plus, the Fourth of July is fun. There is no present-buying-stress like Christmas. Sure, you may get some picnic or barbecue food together, but that doesn’t seem to be as stressful as a huge Thanksgiving dinner.

Instead, July 4th is easy. It’s summer, the weather is (hopefully) beautiful and you can just relax and celebrate with friends and family. Again, hopefully with fireworks.

But the real reason why this is my favorite holiday is the meaning. Let’s take a moment to remember the significance of this day; what it represents and why we celebrate it. The Fourth of July is about freedom.

I’ve been thinking about my love for this relaxing holiday and how it makes me feel. Interesting that that same easiness and carefree feeling used to be applied to my writing. Before I learned about publishing contracts, query letters, protecting your rights and pitching to agents, writing was fun, relaxing and, in a way, celebratory.

I’ve just finished my first RWA Nationals in New York City. I definitely left the conference feeling inspired, rejuvenated and ready to write. But my goal for this coming year is now to remember that I write because I love it. While I understand the importance of these things, writing isn’t just about agents, editors, contracts, websites, twitter feeds and meetings.

For me, I need to return to the real meaning of writing. My freedom to create, inspire and have fun.

So, let me wish everyone a Happy Fourth of July and a Happy Year of Writing!