Tag Archives: Self Belief

Self Efficacy: Sexy

Mermaid CarleneHi fishy friends! It doesn’t happen often, but I’m slipping out of my silly mermaid fins and using some of my bigger words today. I hope you enjoy them.

“Your belief in your own ability to do the things you want to do.”

That’s self-efficacy.

Not too long ago, hubby left a ten page article on my desk with a small note: “PLEASE READ”.

The article was by Ian Walker (www.iantwalker.com) and it was about an experience Ian had that made no sense until he discovered the concept of self-efficacy. It was a great read. I encourage you to check it out where it appeared HERE at The Art of Manliness blog. (PS–As a romance writer, I love this manly blog!!!)

Back to hubby’s note. This was rare. I knew he meant, “AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, please.”

Later that day, before I’d had a chance to read the article, hubby let me know he was unhappy at his day job and he was quitting in the next month to finish his master’s degree as a full-time student.

I’ll admit, there were parts of me, especially the stay-at-home-mom parts of me who depend on hubby to support the family, that had to bite down on the immediate worry his declaration brought on. But the partner who supports hubby’s happiness said, “Okay babe. Let’s do this.”

Even though it’s a scary feeling, there’s something I’ve always been attracted to about hubby and that’s his fearlessness. It got him through twenty-one years in the Army, going off to war a couple times, and now it’s gotten him out of a situation that wasn’t fulfilling him personally and professionally. I have confidence he’ll make something happen for himself and therefore our family as well. Determination, fearlessness, confidence = Sexy!

I dipped down into the tub the day hubby gave me that ten page article and read. What I realized is that I want to be “self-efficacy sexy” for hubby, the same way he is and has been for me. That means I better really believe in my ability to do the things I want to do in life, even if they’re as crazy as being a successful romance writer. I better never quit. I know he won’t.

**Update: I started this blog post last year, knowing I wanted to share it eventually. Well, hubby has been pursuing his master’s degree in counseling for about six months now. We’re living on a student budget which is all kinds of fun. But you know what? He’s never been sexier to me. He’s gonna do this. He’s gonna see it through and he’s gonna help a lot of kids when all is said and done.

Here’s to you believing in yourself and acting on that belief.  There’s plenty of room for more in the Self-efficacy = Sexy club.  Feel free to share a time when you had to rely on a belief in yourself when perhaps it wasn’t the popular thing to do. Maybe a time when doing something you knew in your heart was right even though it made no sense. Have a great day everyone!

Fishy kisses!

Carlene Mermaid