My Lying Eyes

Because it’s 4am and because I can’t think of anything witty, interesting or half decent to write, I will force upon all of you, what will soon be forced upon me:  to talk about myself.  Blech, ech and barf.  And, to make matters worse, I have to do it in front of a large crowd of work people.  String me up by my toenails and hang me in a car wash.   The only saving grace is I have completely lost my voice.  Hand puppets, here I come.  However, in the spirit of giving, I will make this a fun game.  Give five fun facts about yourself, with one of them, being a lie.  The rest of us have to guess the untruth.


1.  I was selected for the Russian Olympic gymnastic team
2. I speak 4 languages
3. One of my previous jobs was as a dental assistant:  I helped yank out tooth gunk during root canals.
4. I once pretended to be a stripper
5. I ate an ear from a ram’s head

Your turns!  Go!

20 thoughts on “My Lying Eyes

  1. Masha,
    I’m going to go with #4 because I don’t know how you pretend to be IN a stripper. Lol. If you were pretending to BE a stripper, I’ll change my answer to #5.
    My turn:
    1. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 21.
    2. I was once towed the maximum 100 miles (that AAA will tow you before charging you) out of the mountains just because I thought it was hard on my car’s engine. Then when the driver asked which service station to take me to, I just said, “Take me 100 miles and drop me on the side of the road. I’ll drive from there.” Then I sat back and read my book… Good on gas as well. Lol.
    3. I had massive diarrhea at Doi Inthanon–the highest elevation in Thailand–without an actual bathroom.
    4. I once tightroped from tree to tree (twenty feet high) in my backyard.
    5. I got a tattoo of a leprechaun after visiting Ireland.

    Wow. It’s sad, really, how boring my life is. I had to think super duper hard for these. Okay, Masha, which one is the lie?
    And you are going to leave a comment at the end of the day to tell us your “untruth”, right?

  2. Masha – I’m going with #1. However, if that’s actually true we TOTALLY need to talk about it. I heart the Olympics! Here are mine:

    1. I was once in an episode of The West Wing.
    2. I once stayed up for 48 hours straight to edit a movie for an Alfred Hitchcock film class I took in college.
    3. I once took part in the halftime show at a Steelers game.
    4. I ice skated in a version of The Nutcracker on Ice in the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh.
    5. I have the most adorable dog in the world!

  3. Those previous responses were for Kim and Kerri. My guess for Masha is #3! Do I win a prize if I’m right?

  4. Well Kim, as you can tell, I really did write this at 4am without edits.. eewww.. “in a stripper”.. and nope.. it’s not #5
    For my guess, I would say #4

    1. You’re good at this, Masha. Yes, it’s #4. I can’t stand heights of any kind. Not even ladders that have more than three steps. Haha.

  5. Masha! You were selected to be on the Russian gymnastics team???? Do you know how cool that is?
    Here are my guesses at everyone’s lies:

    Masha’s lie is 2. I believe you probably speak more than 4 languages because you’re awesome that way.
    Kim’s lie is 5. Which says a lot–if all that other stuff is true, holy moly Kim!
    Kerri’s lie is 1. Not that she wouldn’t have totally rocked a sweet gig like that.

    Fun!!!!! Thank you Masha!

    1. I do, indeed, have a leprechaun tattoo. Of course, he’s all the worse for wear after having five kids. Poor thing has been all stretched out. Lol.

  6. You are all wrong! (Except for Masha.) I was never in a Steelers halftime show (sadly) but I WAS on an episode of West Wing. We filmed in Reagan National Airport when I was in college and it was the episode when we find out that the president has MS.

  7. I’m going with #5, Diana. You probably studied at some incredible culinary school!

  8. Ding.. ding.. ding. Carlene wins. And no my friend, wish as it were, I speak less. 2.5 languages (Russian, English and can get by in Mexico with enough Spanish).

    For Diana.. hhmm… I think it’s the cooking thing.. 🙂

    1. Yay! I won! Masha, I speak fluent English and Spanish but enough Russian to get me by in well, I guess that would be Russia. 🙂 Maybe we could trade flash cards some day. xoxo

      My guess for Diana is 4. I also think it’s the cooking thing!

  9. 1. In my cupboard is a glass no one is ever allowed to use because in 2005 I snatched it from a Vegas Casino after a member of Depeche Mode’s touring band drank from it then set it down.
    2. I have life size cardboard cutouts of Edward and Bella in mine and hubby’s bedroom.
    3. I once served my family a plate with a can of beanies and weenies for dinner and no one was surprised.
    4. I have a tattoo of Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter symbol over my heart.
    5. In high school, I commanded the Army Junior ROTC Color Guard in both competitions and performances.

    1. The scary thing, Carlene, is that I think they’re all true! Lol. If I have to guess, I’d say #5. Don’t know why. Maybe because you’re so darn sweet that I can’t see you being all commanding…:-)

  10. For Carlene.. it’s a tossup between Edward and Bella and the tattoo..
    C’mon Carlene.. fess up. Which is it?

  11. Since you guys were such great sports, I’ll give you a short story to the 4 truths.
    1. Russian Olympics. In Russia, they used to go to the elementary schools and handpick kids who appeared to have an aptitude for the sports. One month of training, then the group got whittled down. Two months of training, another selection process. We did this four times. By the end, I was selecte for either the gymnastics team or the rhythmic gymnastics team. My parents knew we were leaving, so they weren’t concerned, otherwise, they wouldn’t have let me do it. Horrible conditions for young kids.

    3. Yup. I got a job as a dental assistant. My economics degree came in handy. Bleh. Lasted about 2 months.

    4. I was working as a reporter for a TV station and saw an advertisement for strippers at James Madison University newspaper. Got interested in doing a story whether it was legal to post such things. Turns out, it is. Not much of a story. However, my news director saw a rating hit and wanted me to pursue it. I contacted the strip club, but they wouldn’t agree to interview. So I put on stripper gear and went down there, pretending to answer the ad. Got the interview! (not the job.. hee, hee, hee).

    5. I worked as an interpreter for the International Monetary Fund and we were on a mission in Kazhakstan. The group was invited to a fancy dinner by the government. The custom (or so they told us) was everyone had to eat a portion of a ram’s head that represented them. Mine was the ear.. guess I’m a good listener. As I stared at the hairy brownish rubbery looking thing, I glanced to my left and saw the guy next to me (who was a bit of a ladies man) had a big eyeball on his plate (i.e. roving eye). Ah, the power of perspective.

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