Tag Archives: bumper stickers

Bumper Stickers: The Original Tweet!

Kimberly MacCarron, mermaids, ,

What do bumper stickers and tweets have in common? Lots! If you think about it, the similarities abound. In both forums, we try to get across our political affiliations, religious views, environmental stances, professions/hobbies and personal pet peeves into a compressed form of communication. And likely, nobody really cares. The ones who don’t like your words, will have unfavorable responses in one of two ways. If it’s on Twitter, they’ll tweet back their opposing views or unfollow you. If they’re behind you at the red light, you’re lucky. They’ll just give you the finger as they fly past. If you’re unlucky, you’ll be parked and discover your car has been keyed. Either way, you get a reply or response. Congratulations!

Here are some of the ways bumper stickers and tweets are similar:

Character limit: Clearly you can’t write a whole story on the back of a bumper. Just as Twitter limits you to the communication equivalent of a quickie, so does a bumper sticker. It’s a sound bite, people. It’s just enough to give the random stranger online or behind you at the stop light a flavor of who you are. Or who you PRETEND to be.

Clamor for attention: Just as there are those who try to shock other drivers and passengers, there will be those online who like to say things merely for the attention. It’s annoying. Generally these people have multiple bumper stickers or they clog up your twitter feed with senseless information. When I’m on the road, I generally pass a car quickly if they have too many bumper stickers. Otherwise my obsessive-compulsive side will have to read every sticker. Same goes for Twitter. I’ve had to unfollow people who tweet too much. Not everything is important! Your interesting stickers/tweets are ignored due to the flooding of distracting information.

Just a bit distracting. Will need to unfollow.

Just a bit distracting. Will need to unfollow.

Self-promotion: From Mary Kay to personal businesses, cars advertise their companies. Twitter is a social media bumper sticker. Promote yourself in 140 characters or less! Make your characters count. Hashtag if you have to.

Trending topics: Just as Twitter has a section for what’s trending, so do our bumpers. From political statements to environmental issues, we like to discuss what’s trending in our world today. Sometimes our cars are older, and the issue that was trending years ago is merely a joke now. Example: political candidates who lost eight years ago.

Pointless observations: When people discuss their sandwich choices or how many cups of coffee they’ve had to drink on a particular day, it bothers me just as much as random statements on the back of a bumper.

Follow the Leader: On Twitter, we simply click a button to follow someone, and it’s our choice. On the road, you might get stuck behind someone who’s advertising his or her life, and you still have to follow them, regardless if you agree with personal statements on the bumper. Just the same as on the road, sometimes on social media, you end up with a random follower who may not have your best interests at heart.

Retweeting and Replying: We can retweet with a one-second click. With bumpers, it’s the same. In the case of sports teams or schools, people basically retweet their bumper stickers with every soccer ball sticker or school emblem. Hey, look at us! We’re part of the same cool group. In the case of replying, the two mediums are different. On Twitter, you can have a private conversation with your friends for the whole Twitter community to enjoy. I actually find this incredibly annoying when it goes on for too long. If you have social media, I’m pretty sure you know how to text. When people start slapping stickers on their cars as a direct response to someone else’s sticker, then we’re going to have problems. Trying to chase down the original bumper is going to be hard. Same thing with tweets. Sometimes I get half of a conversation, and I’m like, “Huh?”

TMI: I don’t understand why people like to share too much personal information. Nowadays, the back of your car can identify BY NAME the kids in your family via stick figures. Stickers proudly announce the sports they play and the schools they attend. It’s like a welcome wagon to pedophiles, kidnappers and burglars. Your life is advertised for every literate criminal who has access to the road. The same can be said for Twitter. We announce when we’re out of town with the family. We post pictures and tell when we’re expected home. Hello, robbers? Welcome to my empty home. For those interested, please google crime from bumper stickers. It’s a very real thing. Not only do criminals use the information they gather, but prosecutors can do the same thing during an investigation.

Actual Twitter Bumper Stickers: This goes along with the one above. There are now bumper stickers with twitter addresses so you can get even more personal information about the driver. Criminals used to have to work harder. Now, we’re making their jobs so much easier. Not only are they privy to where your kids go to school and every activity you enjoy, but now they can also immediately access what you think online. And if you’re so willing to put it all out there via the back of your van, I’m thinking you’ll be doing the same on social media. Where will it end? Just say no!

The value of discussing bodily functions: This is never-ending humor. Whether it’s on the bumper or a tweet, fart jokes never get old. I have read them via both mediums. I’ve seen the bumper sticker that says the driver is speeding because he/she has to poop. I haven’t seen the tweet yet from anyone I follow, but I’m sure if I search it with a hashtag, I’ll find it. #Fart #Poop #AlwaysFunny?

Lazy evangelism: I’ve seen the bumper stickers about God. I’ve read the tweets about Him as well. Listen, people. In the forty-five seconds a sinner is at the stop sign behind you, he or she is not going to get saved. I can promise you that. They aren’t even going to remember the verse when they get home. And a tweet’s not gonna do it either.

I love quotes. I have documents full of inspirational quotes and witty sayings. There are times when I read something on my twitter feed, and it makes me smile or laugh or think. There are even bumper stickers that do the same.

I’ll end today’s rant with fifteen of my favorites:
1.   WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN SELDOM MAKE HISTORY
2.   DON’T DRINK & PARK. ACCIDENTS CAUSE PEOPLE
3.   WHERE ARE WE GOING AND WHY AM I IN THIS
HANDBASKET?
4.   I LOVE ANIMALS. THEY TASTE DELICIOUS
5.   HORN BROKEN. WATCH FOR FINGER.
6.   BEER…HELPING UGLY PEOPLE GET LAID SINCE 1842
7.   I DRIVE LIKE A CULLEN
8.   GUESTS WHO KILL TALK SHOW HOSTS—ON THE LAST GERALDO
9.   EMBARRASSING MY CHILDREN—A FULL-TIME OCCUPATION
10. THIS VEHICLE PROTECTED BY ANTI-THEFT STICKER
11.  IF YOU CAN READ THIS…YOU ARE PROBABLY PULLING ME OVER
12.  SOME GIRLS CHASE BOYS. I PASS ‘EM.
13.  MINDS ARE LIKE BOOKS. THEY ONLY WORK IF THEY’RE OPEN
14.  TV IS GOODER THAN BOOKS
15.  NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS MOVIE

Favorite hashtag on Twitter? #WeNeedDiverseBooks

Do you love or hate bumper stickers and Twitter? Or do you love one and hate the other? Rant away if you’re so inclined. Or just comment with your favorite bumper sticker. We all have them. Even those of us who claim to hate them.
And by the way, feel free to follow me on  Twitter. 🙂  As I don’t have any bumper stickers on my van, you’ll be bored following me on the road though.

What’s the Point?

Kimberly MacCarron, mermaids, Writing, , , ,

Our actions should have points to them. Characters in books generally have a point—an arc that shows where they’ve been and where they’re going. But sometimes I feel like nothing has a real point, or we’ve covered the real thing with glitter to hide the underlying problem.
Here are things that I can’t quite understand. What’s the point?

Giving free t-shirts to participants in walks for the homeless. Ummm. Not sure I get this one. I have five kids who have participated for years at their school. They get free shirts and walk around the school to help the homeless. First of all let me say quite clearly that our family volunteers and gives plenty to our local community action center. I’m not being insensitive here. I’m just wondering if we couldn’t serve the homeless a little better by actually giving them plain t-shirts or the money that it costs the companies to make them. Wouldn’t that serve the homeless a little better? I get that it’s publicity, but do the people who actually care about the homeless need the visual reminder?

Putting flyers under the windshield of cars. First of all, I WILL NEVER BUY ANYTHING THAT IRRITATES ME. And pulling random pieces of paper out from under my windshield irritates me. I’m wondering what the point of this is? I think that should be illegal. Generally the outcome is hundreds of pointless flyers littering the parking lot and lots of irritated people driving and trying to get the annoying flyer off their windshields.

Breast cancer awareness walks. I know I’m going to get people screaming in outrage for this one, but just hear me out. I’m not a great lover of breast cancer. Almost everyone has been affected by breast cancer in some way or another. We are either a survivor, know a survivor or have attended a funeral of one who didn’t survive. I just don’t understand the solidarity thing of the walk. Where are the pancreatic or prostrate walkers? Where are the walks for brain tumors? And just because someone is walking for a cure for breast cancer doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to be excited to give you money. I can give my own money in my own way for whatever charity or research I want. I don’t really care how many miles you walk for whatever reason. Just go out walk, and I’ll donate where I think best.

Bumper stickers. Who cares where your kid goes to school or if they’re on the freaking honor roll? Who cares if you’re pro-life or pro-choice? Who cares if you’re a vegetarian or a marathon runner or whatever else you think is important? Are you going to have a long-term relationship with the person behind you at a stoplight? No! And don’t get me started with the stick-figure families on the back of minivans. I have a family. That’s not what they look like at all.

Wrapping paper fundraisers. I hate you! I hate the package that comes home from school. I hate the order form and the little prizes the kids can win from making our friends and loved ones buy crappy wrapping paper. Who thought this was EVER a good fundraiser? It’s a waste of paper all around. The amount of trees that this stupid fundraiser kills is just plain awful. Trees for the order sheets and magazines showcasing overpriced wrapping paper. Then the wrapping paper itself. Then the boxes that transport the overpriced products. And then the kids get their fabulous plastic lead-filled toys from China. Woo hoo!  A winning situation all the way around!

Which brings me to my last rant of the day. Writing and publication. Why do people write stories? If we’re in the business as a business and plan to make an easy six-figure deal and glide through the whole process stress-free, then my hats go off to you if you succeed. I always said I couldn’t understand self-publishing. Why do people self-publish if they aren’t good enough for a traditional publisher? Well, I’ve changed my tune on that. It gets back to the point. What’s the point of writing? If it’s so that you can share your stories with others and make them love your characters like you love them, then what’s wrong with getting those books out there so others can enjoy them?

There should be a point to what we do. We shouldn’t get caught up in the glittery wrapping paper of life. Uncover the real points. If you want to get involved with helping the homeless, organize a food drive. If you want to help those with breast cancer, make some meals for the family or offer to help on a personal level in some other way. If you want to support your kids in school, support them with a monetary donation or give your time instead of clogging up landfills with crappy, overpriced and glittery wrapping paper. And if you want your stories to be read and appreciated by others, maybe you shouldn’t wait for that to happen.

What’s the point? Ask yourself.

Is there anything that bothers you or you think is pointless?  Here’s your chance to rant!