There’s no good way to end a relationship, especially if one party doesn’t want it to end. But how to react when the relationship never got off the ground?
A friend of mine is swimming in a tarn of internet dating. And I’m along for the ride. We have lawyers who can’t spell lawyer. A world traveler who has never heard of Machu Picchu and one bozo who only wanted to discuss the dimensions he would bring to the relationship. Yes, those dimensions. Within this jambalaya of bachelors, there are of course, nice, sweet guys, who by all accounts look good on paper, but just don’t have that “something” that connects her to them. So then the question arises, how to let them know, it’s just not there.
Asking me for advice, less so for my dating experience (ahem, 10-year wedding anniversary coming up) and more for wordsmithing, I give her my .01 cent of advice. Be nice, be gentle, but be honest. Something like, Mr. Bachelor, you are a wonderful person with amazing qualities but I don’t feel we should pursue anything more than a friendship.
Easy. Nice. Gentle.
How can anyone not like that response?
And then it came in the mail.
“Dear Masha. Thank for letting me read your submission. While you definitely have a way with words, I didn’t feel connected to this project and will not pursue requesting anything further. I wish you the very best in your future endeavors and I know you will find a right home for your work.”
Easy. Nice. Gentle.
Ouch.
Sorry, Masha! But as a rejection goes, that one is pretty good. I prefer honesty rather than lots of tact. If they think my plot fell apart in the middle, tell me. Or if my characters fall flat, I need to know. I’d rather them tell me what’s wrong so I know how to fix it. Or even if it’s something I CAN fix.
But, hey! I like gentle. Haha
Good luck on the submission, Masha.
Well, poo. Here, read this:
“All the wrong ones have to say no so the right one can eventually say yes.”
I think it works for internet dating tarn and those pesky writing rejections.
Also you are fabulous and I love you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Gentle Endings are always difficult, whether it be a dating rejection or book. But being a believe in fate, there is always a reason for it to happen. This just means something better is in store for me. Hugs!
I agree with my fellow Mermaids on this one…direct, gentle, etc., but I also feel your pain (believe me:) so I understand the ‘ouch’ part really well. Now, send out another one! And put this one in the drawer:)!
Awwww.. you gals are the best. And it’s only a flesh wound.. 🙂
I’ve my fair share (actually I’ve had several people’s fair share) of rejections via online dating AND writing. Ha-ha! That sucks, Masha-Mermaid! But keep chugging along! 😉
Masha, you crack me up as always. (And Kerri, you do, too! — “several people’s fair share” — lol!) Focus on the positive part of the rejection: “you DEFINITELY have a way with words.” Because you do, Masha, with every blog post you write and every short story and partial I’ve read. Hang in there — I believe in you!
“Ouch” is right? Is it mean to say it made for an excellent blog post?
Nice post. I smiled… until I reached the end. Sorry.
Awww.. you all are the best. Almost makes it worthwhile to get a rejection. Almost. 🙂
You definitely have a way with words, Masha. I’m sorry to hear about the rejection but I know your work will find the right home. And hopefully your friend will find the right guy.