Last month, my brother got married in a beautiful ceremony in New York. I gave a toast at the rehearsal dinner and in true Kerri-fashion, I stuck to what I know best – TV, movies and Pearl Jam (well, that was more for my brother). The toast is below and you’re all going to think I’m nuts. But my brother got all the references!

Welcome to the family, Danielle!!!


Among many things, my brother and I share a very strange unique sense of humor. Possibly because we spent a lot of time together watching movies, TV shows and listening to, of course, Pearl Jam.

A lot of Pearl Jam.

When I thought about what I should say tonight, it seemed pretty clear I needed to talk about his journey. And where better to start than…

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… Alone, listless… breakfast table in an otherwise empty room. My brother knew from a very age that there’s always money in the banana stand, and he set out on a quest to better himself. Meticulous, ambitious, constantly studying numbers like 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.

He left Monessen, PA to travel the world with stops in places like Washington D.C., London, New York, Denver – the sunshine state. Gorgeous. Gorgeous! Because he knew if you build it, he will come.

He saw many interesting things along the way – flap jacks (even if it’s too early for flap jacks), Zach Morris’ cell phone, the Guiding Light, the hatch, the polar bear, the French chick, the Others – but the “Constant” was to avoid any imperial entanglements. And when he was lucky, he’d have a nice little Saturday. Go to Home Depot to buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe go to Bed Bath & Beyond – I don’t know. I don’t know if he ever had enough time.

I have to admit there were times when he did some odd things and I’d think McFly. Hello, McFly! Are you having trouble with your TPS reports? Didn’t you get that memo? Of course, he would just answer back with something trite like, size matters not. I’m on my journey!

And what a journey it’s been.

To all of you here tonight – you probably think I’m crazy. But dammit, I’m a doctor, not a public speaker.

To Danielle – I’m so happy my brother’s strange unique journey led him to you. Just don’t call him daughter. And I gotta say it – you know I gotta say it – you can’t find a better man.

To Kevin – the force is strong with you. Mmmmm.

The thing about journeys is they never really end. So what’s next for the two of you? Space, the final frontier? Who knows for sure! But I think we should all raise our glasses and toast to one amazing journey that I hope you both enjoy together. Nothing but the best. Because this next phase of your lives is no doubt going to be LEGEN-wait for it and hope you’re not lactose intolerant-DARY. True story!