I recently read an article about some actress (can’t remember for the life of me who she is) who has her agent to set her up on “dates” with women. No, she’s not a lesbian, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But rather, she just wants to be introduced or get to know women she finds interesting. This phenomenon, known as a girl crush, is similar to the bromance we keep hearing about of late.
When I think back on my life, I realize there have been a number of females I have found absolutely fascinating. There was Stephanie, the girl in my fourth grade class, who had poker straight blonde hair that fluttered in the breeze when she glided across the playground. She was everything I wasn’t. Confident, popular, smart. Everything she touched turned to gold. I studied her from a far, wishing not only that I could be like her, but that maybe one day she would concede to be my friend. In high school, I was friends with a girl who again, was the complete antithesis of me. Jet black curly hair and a face that Angelina Jolie would have envied, she had a talent for dancing, singing, drawing, writing. We formed a deep and lasting bond (to this day), but I never gave up that idolization at her ability to draw people to her and command the spotlight.
As I think back on all these “girl crushes,” I realize that when I create my female characters, in some way, they become crushes too. Yes, we want readers to fall in love with the hero, but it’s the heroine that in some cases may make or break a story. Women are multi-dimensional creatures and our relationships with women are just as complicated as with men. Maybe even more so. To that end, the characters we create must tiptoe on that fine line of being attractive, but not too attractive. Likable, but not a doormat. In other words, she has to be the kind of woman an actress will ask her agent to set up on a date. So in honor of all female crushes, dish on who is your crush. Here are mine.
Writer Crush (other than a fellow Mermaid): Sarah Mayberry. I recently discovered this gem of a writer and I’m green with envy at how she can convey emotion through characters. Not only that, she is cool as hell. She actually answered my email, the one where I asked for writing advice and sent back a heap of helpful suggestions.
Envy Crush: I’m ashamed to confess that this envy crush is strictly superficial. I once had a friend who was truly disgusting. 5’8” a size 0 with real DD boobs and legs that would put any model to shame. To make matters worse, she was hilarious, a PhD student in biology and could sew the most amazing outfits. I couldn’t hate her because she was just so awesome, but boy was I ever miserable when we went trolling for men together.
Fascination Crush: Okay, I admit. For some crazy reason I have an absolute fascination with Kate Middleton, or the Duchess of.. I can’t remember what. I don’t know if it’s the whole princess from a modest background or the fact that she’s so tall, willowy and has that thick mane of chestnut hair. Or actually, it may be the clothes. She seems to look good in anything (dang her!). She also seems so natural and down to Earth. Again, yes, I know it’s all a fantasy because no one really knows what she’s like except the people close to her, but indulge me.
Fictional Character Crush: Harper James from Kristan Higgins’ My One and Only. The way she wrote that character, I actually felt I was in her skin. I truly wanted to be friends with this woman. Or at least be there as she traveled the road Kristan so skillfully wove for her.
If I wasn’t straight, I’d be with…Crush You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine!
21 thoughts on “Girl Crushes”
Oh dear Masha, this is completely fun and yes, besides all my fellow mermaids, I certainly have a girl crush or two to share. I love Drew Barrymore because of her quirky goofy cuteness. I love my friend Kathleen because the universe brought us together via meeting Depeche Mode and she is simply my kindred spirit and here’s the big shocker…I have a huge girl crush on Sherrilyn Kenyon. Um, I actually had a dream that we had a slumber party together and it was full-on straight out of Grease, just like Sandy,Frenchy,Marty and Rizzo. That’s harmless, right? 😉
I LOVE your dream Carlene. That is totally cool. I have to say I think hanging out with Sherrily Kenyon would be totally fun. I heard her speak at our last retreat and she was a blast.
Hmm….This could get interesting.
Writer Crush: Stephenie Meyer. I literally dream about hanging out with her once every 3-4 months. She inspired me to write and when I get down on myself I play the interview she did in the Twilight Movie special features about her writing the series. It ups my butt back at the computer in a snap.
Fantasy Crush: Kate Beckinsale. HOT. Have you seen the Underworld movies? I love that she does all of her stunts too.
But I have to mention my biggest crush is on this OB-Gyn doctor I used to work for. This woman was a power house. She could take her kids to school, go deliver a baby before seeing a double packed schedule of office patients. Then go do a surgery during her lunch, come back see another load of patients in the afternoon, pick up her kids on the way home, cook dinner, and bake a cake which she brought the next day. In her free time she would run, ski, rock climb, and other outdoors stuff. She looked awesome. Her patients loved her. Her staff loved working for her. Even now when I see her in the hospital where I work, she gives me a hug. She is one of those people that makes the world so much better because she’s around.
Melania, those fab ladies can always cook and bake too! So envious. 😉 Love your writer crush too.
Hhmm.. gotta agree with you on the Kate Beckinsale thing. When you described your Ob-Gyn, I wondered whether the crushes we have on people realize they are crushes. If you found out you were someone’s crush, would it be weird.. would it make you want to hang out with that person? Or would you feel pressure?.. Like you had to live up to some kind of ideal?
Thanks for the crush on Harper, Masha! I’m sure she’d feel the same way. I have a girl/author crush on Joshilyn Jackson. Plain old girl crush on Ellen Degeneres and Tina Fey. And Meryl Streep would be my envy crush, I think. Also my BFF if she would just revoke that restraining order…
So for anyone who is reading.. and for the official Mermaid record, Kristan is totally and unbelievably awesome. I email stalked her, begging and pleading for advice (although in reality, I think I was hoping through an email glitch her writing superdom would somehow miraculously rub off) but ‘lo and behold, she answered. Despite the fact that I’m sure it’s not in her contract to answer every wannabe that pummels her inbox. She was ubber cool and helpful. Except I think there’s something wrong with her email.. I didn’t get any literary superpowers.
Oh, and Tina Fey is a good one… funny writer.
Masha, I see her almost every month at CTRWA ::waves:: and her superpowers haven’t rubbed off on me, either. Do ya think it’s that DC vibe?
I think it’s something in the FIOS.. oh wait, I don’t have FIOS. Must be the writing cramp.
What a great post! Mine are more like fascination crushes, the “how do they do that?” can’t-stop-looking moments.
* Writer Crush – Jennifer Probst, who wrote for years and finally sold to Entangled Press. “The Marriage Bargain” not only earned $53K its first month, it was a terrific read.
* Envy Crush – Anyone who can manage terminal clutter in the home. And the teacher in my school who always wears drop-dead gorgeous outfits, and finds them all at Kohl’s.
* Fascination Crush – The Eye Candy dudes at NYSC. I mean, really? You’ve got muscles on muscles, and I’m still hugging the 5 lb weights.
* Fictional Character Crush – Joanna, the heroine in my current WIP. (note to Carlene: different from Nicole, the poor unloved heroine in the WIP we discussed)
Okay, that’s it for me! Who’s next?
Susan-Mermaid, I like Nicole because under all that other stuff she has going on, she’s got to be strong…and there’s got to be a good reason she is the way she is…right?
And to think I was wondering today if I should replace her with a new heroine altogether. Nicole is a drip and she complains all the time. But somehow you believe! ::sigh::
Susan, I think it’s awesome that your fictional crush is your heroine. That speaks volumes. I’m not yet BFF with my heroine, but hopefully I’ll get there. And yes, people who are able to accessorize boggle my mind.
What a fun post! I think it’s great when women can admire other women without jealousy and petty feelings getting in the way. I love stories with strong bonds between women. Unfortunately, there aren’t nearly enough of them.
Author Crushes would be Kristan Higgins–for her multi-dimensional characters and their loyalty and love for family and friends. And Darynda Jones for the same basic reason. I laugh out loud at their books, and when I’m not laughing, I feel like crying. That’s a rare gift.
Fictional Heroine Crush would be Charley Davidson (Darynda Jones’s main character in the First Grave series). When my writing friend Tammy told me about this grim reaper who was funny and fun, I was skeptical for a long time. Then I started reading them, and I couldn’t put them down. She’s everything I wish fictional characters could be: loyal, fun, funny, sarcastic yet sweet. And throw her love for Reyes in there…mmmmm. And his love for her….double mmmmmmm.
I had a hard time coming up with celebrity or real-life crushes. Not sure what that says about me…:-(.
What a neat post, Masha!
Kim! I thought I was your girl crush. Now I’m crushed! But you know I’m Darynda’s girl-date pimp, so if you want me to set you up in Anaheim this summer just say the word. ;0)
I was crushing on Kristan Higgins too but then I found out yesterday she sent PERSONAL emails to some of the other Golden Heart finalists, but I didn’t get one. I may have to dump her for Rachel Gibson now. (Just kidding. But unrequited love stinks!)
Oh, Tammy! I have a teensy girl crush on you. Really. But I usually save my crushes for authors of books I’ve read. So hand over “Cyrano at Your Service,” (a Golden Heart finalist) and nobody gets hurt. 🙂 I can’t wait to read it when it hits the bookshelves.
Don’t feel bad about Kristan Higgins. You are pretty difficult to find. It was hard even for me, what with websites under construction and all. If she knew you, your love wouldn’t be unrequited at all, I’m sure…I love Rachel Gibson, too. This girl crush thing is really starting to snowball.
Thank you so much, Kimberly!!!! I love writing Charley, and love it even more when her fans adore her. And thanks so much for pimping me out, Tammy! Hahaha. I love pimps.
Charley rocks my socks!!! When is the next book coming out!!!!!! Must have immediately!
Too funny, but so much truth! Loved your ‘envy crush’ because that woman, I swear she’s a clone for my best friend since college. All the same physical qualities and then with the big fantastic personality, too?!!! Envy! Love (conflict!)…Lol!
As for me and other girl crushes…mmmm….the most vivid from TV is actually a character, not so much the actress, but in the Whedonverse TV series “Angel” there was a character named Cordy or Cordelia Chase, totally LOVED that character until fourth season when they destroyed it…OH, sorry. Digressing…
It’s funny, I don’t have a crush on my current book’s heroine — I’m crazy about her, but she makes so many choices based on her fears — I frankly don’t crush on her until the last few chapters of the book…
Sorry I didn’t get over here earlier.
Denny, I think in every woman’s life, an envy crush must fall. The woman you love to hate but can’t. That makes it even worse. But we love ’em for a reason.. it’s good to know I’m not the only one..
Thanks Diana!.. it was fun.. not the usual dark and depressing stuff.. 🙂
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