You Complete Me? I Don’t Think So!

When Jerry Maguire popped onto the big screen in 1996, we all loved to shout out favorite movie quotes. “Show me the money!” Who wouldn’t like that? “Help me help you!” Or even “You had me at hello.” It’s what Jerry said to Dorothy right before that last one which made me want to slam my head against a brick wall. Do you remember the words?

“You complete me.” No. No, no, no. A million times NO!

If a man tells me he completed a triathlon, that’s quite an accomplishment. I’m impressed. If he completed his master’s program or an application for a job or an essay for a scholarship, wonderful! But, if a man ever said to me, “You complete me,” I would run—not walk—to the nearest exit.

First of all, I can barely complete an exercise routine. I can never complete housework chores. Sometimes I can’t seem to complete my manuscript. So why, in the name of all that’s holy, would I want to complete another human being?…
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Being Tired & YouTube

Happy Month 6 of The Sparkle Plan, my made-up diet and wellness plan. Check out the inaugural post here to find out what it is.

Last month I was beyond happy to report that I lost 9 pounds! (Check out that post here.) So how many pounds did I lose this month? A big fat ZERO! While I didn’t gain any weight (hoorah!), I did gain some perspective on the importance of sleep. Kerri Carpenter

A bunch of doctors say a bunch of doctor-like stuff about the importance of sleep in regards to weight loss. I am not a doctor so I won’t bore you with all that hormone crap. Here’s the basic idea. You need to sleep. If you don’t, you will eat like a pig and gain weight. True story.

Why is sleep tied to losing weight? I don’t know. Again, not a doctor….
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So That’s How It Started…

Dana MermaidAll of the readers I know have certain authors or books that they read again and again. I am no exception. One of my favorites is Shanna by Kathleen Woodiwiss. I recently finished Shanna for the twenty-seventh time. Honestly, I have no idea how many times I’ve read it, but often enough that the tattered cover and well-worn spine mark it as a favorite on my shelf. This latest reading prompted me to think about all of the well-loved romance novels out there, and the happiness they have brought so many.

But where did all of this romance begin? If I had to guess I’d say back with the caveman. Maybe the first time a big bad alpha caveman brought his main cave woman squeeze daisies or drew a colorful painting on the wall to make their cave sweet cave a little homier. My point is, as long as there have been men and women, we have shown off, flexed, primped, strutted and gone…
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I Know I Love You…at first sight

Hello Fishy Friends!

Not too long ago, I wrote this post for ARe Cafe (I love them and they’re awesome!) except for I didn’t get any comments, which made me feel like this…

 I really wanted to chat with anyone willing to talk about the speed of love at first sight and what we like in our romance novels. So I’m reposting this here in the pond today and crossing my fins that I’ll get a nibble…

xoxo

Carlene Mermaid

“I wait all day just hoping for one more minute with you and I don’t even know you.”

Do you remember when Maggie said that to Seth in the 1998 movie “City of Angels”?

Did you believe in those words with all your heart?

What if I told you that’s where I want to start every story I write. I don’t do it, of course, but I can’t…
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Life After the Six-Fingered Man

Inigo Montoya: Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.

Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You’d make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

***

The goal of every aspiring writer is to be published.

Maybe that publication comes in the form of a review, an op-ed, an article, a short story, or–*gasp*–even a NOVEL. Hooray! You’ve finally published a novel!

Now what do you do with your life?

Welcome to the Inigo Montoya Dilemma. In The Princess Bride, Inigo dedicated his life to hunting down the six-fingered man who killed his father. After the six-fingered man was dead (spoilers!), Inigo found himself at a loss as to what to do next.

I think every one of us feels that moment in life–after college, after children,  after the marathon, what have you. Writers especially are keenly aware of this. They publish the novel, and…
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Mermaids & Friends: Avery Flynn

Guess who’s back in the Lagoon today? That’s right, it’s our very own Avery Flynn. Yay! *Throws Glitter!* (Man, I’ve missed throwing glitter at Avery!) Anyhoo, Avery has a new book out and she stopped by to share an excerpt and get everyone entered in a $500 – that’s what I said, $500 – giveaway.

I won’t take up any more time. Welcome back, Avery Flynn….

Hola Waterworld Mermaids! The lagoon is looking awesome, I don’t mind if I do dip a toe back in. ;)

Thanks so much for letting me swim with you and share an excerpt from my latest, This Year’s Black. It’s the second in my Killer Style series, but don’t worry it can be read as a stand alone. It’s about a private investigator who only wears black, Allegra “Ryder” Falcon, and her client, Devin Harris – an ex-MMA fighter turned fashion guru who just happened to have an amazing one night stand with Ryder before she blew him…
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Renovating Your Book

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend.

My husband and I spent ours working on our basement. Thank heavens my husband is a very handy guy because we have spent the last several months finishing our basement. It has been a long arduous task involving framing, insulating, dry walling, tiling and painting. After a long weekend of sanding and painting, my back is locked up tighter than Fort Knox and, sadly, I’m only halfway done painting the doors, windows and trim moldings.

As I labored away yesterday, it dawned on me how many parallels there are between building something and the writing process. Whether you’re finishing a basement, building a skyscraper or writing a novel it’s always important to start with a strong framework. Without a solid foundation your building or your story will fall apart.

IMG_4099 photo 1

Next you run the wiring and plumbing, which is…
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Susan Mermaid Does Makeup

Susan-Mermaid-avatarDoing makeup on a group of male teachers – peers – who’ve never been in a theater production is a test of character.  The poor devil who gets his first “makeover” is in for a big surprise.  For me, a theater major and makeup artist for school plays in past years, it’s routine.

Over and over, they insisted the idea was outrageous.  Up to the point of hearing they would be on the receiving end of a foundation-laden sponge, they were thrilled with the idea of being in a play.  Memorize lines?  Check.  Stage direction?  Check.  Costumes?  Definitely check.  Costumes are fun! We get to pretend! We’re gonna be somebody else for an hour and fool our students into believing in our make believe for the afternoon!

And then…

Makeup?  Whoa.  No.  Not me.  You’re not doing this.  I am offended!  How could you tamper with this perfection?

You better not make me look like a girl!

In the end, they…
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Refilling Your Creative Well

When the Waterworld Mermaids blog first started three years ago, I wrote a post about the Artist Date and my hobby of making bento box meals for my kids. For those of you who don’t remember, Julia Cameron defines the Artist Date as apintip time used to nurture our inner artist and a way to refill our creative well. (THE ARTIST’S WAY, 20-21).

In the past few weeks, I have found myself in desperate need of refilling my well. Lots of things can suck your creativity dry, some writing-related and some not. Health issues, money problems, fatigue, and the loss of a loved one, to name a few. Rejections, revisions, and less-than-stellar reviews, to name some others.

Whatever your reason, if you find yourself in need of an Artist Date, here are some suggestions:

1. Plant a garden. Buy some potted plants, seeds, soil, planters and dig in. Get your hands dirty. Nurture your plants, day after day, and revel in…
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Using and Abusing the Mermaids

Okay Mermaid gals and beloved visitors, I’m letting it all hang out.  I’ve taken off the make-up, the Spanx (for those who remember one of my previous posts) and the Wonderbra.  I stand before you in my all unglory.  What in the heck I’m talking about, you ask?  Here goes.

In a spurt of insanity, I’m putting my first 300 out for commentary.  Myself and an unnamed Mermaid are taking a Margie Lawson class and unlike the unnamed Mermaid, I’m confused.  I’ve been getting such contradictory advice on my opening paragraphs that I have decided to take my confusion to the Mermaids.  Who better to help?  So I’ve included two versions.  Version #1 was the original opening.  However, a few editors didn’t love it.. said not to start with an opening sentence.. give a bit of the character.  So I created a quick infodump.  However, the peanuts from Margie’s class didn’t like the infodump and said to start with the opening sentence.

Any and all thoughts are welcome, including but…
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