My Lying Eyes

Because it’s 4am and because I can’t think of anything witty, interesting or half decent to write, I will force upon all of you, what will soon be forced upon me:  to talk about myself.  Blech, ech and barf.  And, to make matters worse, I have to do it in front of a large crowd of work people.  String me up by my toenails and hang me in a car wash.   The only saving grace is I have completely lost my voice.  Hand puppets, here I come.  However, in the spirit of giving, I will make this a fun game.  Give five fun facts about yourself, with one of them, being a lie.  The rest of us have to guess the untruth.

Me:

1.  I was selected for the Russian Olympic gymnastic team
2. I speak 4 languages
3. One of my previous jobs was as a dental assistant:  I helped yank out tooth gunk during root canals.
4. I once pretended to be a stripper
5. I ate an ear from a ram’s head

Your turns!  Go!