The Dreaded Synopsis

Tell me, how do you write the synopsis to your W.I.P.? Because here’s how my typical synopsis writing day goes. 

First, I remind myself and anyone within earshot of how much I hate writing the synopsis. Then I open a Word Document. After staring at said blank page for about three straight minutes, I toggle over to Twitter and tweet about how I despise the synopsis.

Then, I eat something. After that, I let the food digest. We’ve all heard our mothers remind us to wait twenty minutes after we eat before working on our synopsis. Don’t want any writing-related cramps after all.

Finally, I go back to the blank page and eek out two lame sentences. I berate them. I judge them. Then I take the time to berate and judge myself. You suck, Kerri!

If there is any time left I send my BFF an email expressing my extreme suck-age. And then she tells me over g-chat that I don’t suck and reminds me of her favorite thing I ever wrote, which was my first attempt at a romantic suspense novel and involved a shattered woman, FBI agent and a fat cat. Personally, I think it blew. But seven years later, she still insists it was fabulous.

And then she tells me what she had from Starbucks that day. Usually, a Chai Latte.

Why do I hate the synopsis so much? It’s a part of writing after all. And I love writing! When I’m writing a novel the words just flow from my brain (or heart?) through my fingers onto the keyboard and out to my computer.

But the stupid synopsis? That feels like work. Like school. Except I actually liked school. So like the gynecologist. Yes, that is more appropriate. The synopsis as a gynecological visit.

Or, maybe… writing a synopsis reminds me that I have finished a manuscript. I’ve spent countless hours conceiving of an idea, creating characters and plotting out the best story I can. That means it’s time to send all that hard work out into the world for editors and agents to have the opportunity to reject.

I’ve dreamt the same dream scenario as many of you. You get a call on the first query you send out begging you to sign with that agent or editor. I will be the exception to all of the rejection stories we’ve heard.

But dream time is over. I have to send my baby out into the world. For better or worse. (And then I call my BFF just to hear once again how much she liked that sucky story seven years ago….)

So I ask you, fellow writers: Any synopsis-writing advice?